Ladies Professional Stripping Golf League

 

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Chicago Daily News                       Sports Editorial                        July 3

 

Naked Events Find Financial Backing                                                         by Ned Dean

 

The Women’s World Soccer League (WWSL), with its unique rules to draw crowds, has proven financially profitable.  Talks of expanding the league as early as next year to twelve teams have had no problems finding backers.  Despite vigorous objections from conservative organizations, it is with little wonder that similar tactics are being employed to other sports ventures. 

On July 12 we will see the next example of these new sport leagues with the tee-off of the Ladies Professional Golf League at the Finger Lakes Golf Course outside of Dallas, Texas.  While the final rules have not been released to the public, this new league’s PR release promise surprises equal to that found in the WWSL.  While there will be no live video broadcast, HBO and ESPN will be there with camera for a delayed broadcast at 11:30 PM that night.

Only time will tell if this league or the WWSL will long survive.

 

 

Brenda Carsons finished the eighteenth hole in the last qualifying round that cut the field down to 32 women.  Her three under par round was enough to place her near the top of the standings.  So far it had been like any other golf tournament she had played in.  All the women playing had been amateurs, mostly from college leagues.  Brenda knew she was good as she had placed first and third in her last two tournaments and had signed the long form that the tournament officials had given her.  She had almost not signed when she saw the fine print detailing the most unusual rules that would govern the last round of play on Saturday.  She doubted she would suffer much and the $50,000 first place prize was just too tantalizing to resist.

Brenda looked over her official uniform for Saturday’s final round.  The white mid-rift baring top, lacy red bra with matching panties and tight red shorts were far from her usual golf clothes.  Together with the shoes she would have her six items allotted to her. She stripped and tried on the outfit to find it fitted her like a glove.  The top and bra both strained tightly across her chest.  She smiled naughtily as she admired that way it set off her firm young figure. If she played the way she had in her qualifying rounds, she should lose no more than her shoes.

 

 

Saturday morning Brenda found was to be in the sixth pair that teed-off.  She had been paired with Debra, a blonde small-breasted long-legged southern belle.  Brenda had seen her flirt with reporters and tournament officials the last few days.  When Debra batted her long lashes over large blue eyes she could make a man stammer like a bashful fourteen-year old boy.  Brenda did not know if Debra was as innocent as she acted, but how could she be?  Brenda would not mind seeing Debra making a few boogies and paying the price.

 

Everything was easy for Debra: head cheerleader in high school and college, a 3.96 grade point average and already accepted into Harvard Law School.  She had always had her choice of boys and, although not a still a virgin, had taken some delight in knowing that many times her dates had gone home with a raging case of blue-balls.  Having found herself a natural in golf, she seldom practiced except for the enjoyment.  Her tee-offs and drives flew as if magically propelled with great accuracy.  Her only weakness with the game was putting, but she could usually two-putt after making the green in two.  If was not until she had received her uniform for Saturday that she re-read the fine print on the tournament contract.  While shocked she was not afraid.  She was confident she could place in the top three and take home some prize money.

 

Debra teed-off first at the first hole.  Her drive fell perfectly to land in the middle of the fairway at the par four dogleg to the left.  The small mostly male spectators applauded respectfully.  Brenda placed her ball on the tee, feeling the tight shorts slide deeply between her ass cheeks.  She tried to ignore the feeling knowing that all eyes were on her.  She addressed the ball, and took a practice swing without hitting the ball.  Feeling her muscles still limber from her stretching exercises, she adjusted her stance and swung.  Her ball flew and fell ten yards short of Debra’s.  As she walked to her ball Brenda pulled the short from between her ass cheeks only to have it slide back after a few steps.  She finally gave up her shorts when she saw Debra was having the same problem.

Both women found themselves on the green in two.  Brenda sank a long putt for a birdie on the hole.  Debra looked calm as she tapped the ball for a easy four-foot putt only to see it stop an inch short of the cup.  She tapped it in for par.  A sigh went through the crowd. 

Both women shot par on the second and third holes.  On the green of the fourth hole things started to happen.  Brenda found herself with a difficult seventeen-foot uphill putt to make par.  Brenda spent a few minutes looking over the green and finally stood over the ball.  She tapped the ball hard and it rolled along her planned course.  The ball was not centered as it approached the cup and caught the rim, flipping it off to the side.  A groan passed through the crowd and from Brenda’s throat.  Brenda walked up to the ball and tapped it the remaining three inches into the cup for a one over par boogie. 

Debra was smiled at Brenda’s misfortune before putting on her game face and lining up her straight-in four foot putt.  The crowd was quiet as she tapped the ball.  The ball rolled straight as an arrow until it lost speed and stall not one inch from the cup.  Debra’s groan joined the crowd’s.  She bit her lip as she tapped the ball in for a boogie.  Debra and Brenda walked quietly to he next hole.

On the fifth hole, as dictated by the rules in their contract, Brenda and Debra had to pay for their respective one over par performance on the last hole.  The fifth hole official waited as each woman removed one shoe.  The shoes were thrown to the crowd as souvenirs.  Of course this did not reveal anything of significance, but served to whet the appetite of the crowd and remind the players of the possible consequences to come.

Brenda felt unbalanced wearing only one shoe as she reviewed the fifth hole.  The hole as an unusually long par four that had given most women including Brenda a problem during the qualifying round.  Brenda groaned as she saw that the tee-off had been moved back almost twenty yards from where it was the prior day.  She would have to really work to get even a boogie.  She concentrated and swung only to see her ball hook and fall in the edge of the rough short of the distance she needed.  The groans of the crowd were now intermixed with male chuckling.  Brenda turned to the crowd with a stern expression as walked away so Debra could tee-off.

Debra was concerned.  She had double boogied on this hole just the day before and did not want to make a mistake.  She stood over the ball and checked her stance.  She inhaled, let half of it out and swung.  She watched as her ball traveled fell in the center of the fairway right where she wanted it.  She could not resist smiling as mild applause was heard from the crowd.  She and Brenda walked down the fairway with significantly more bounce in Debra’s step.

Debra drove down the fairway and reached the green on her third shot.  If she could sink the putt she could make par.  She stood and watched as Brenda managed to get to the edge of the green on her fourth stroke.  Debra let Brenda putt first and saw her expertly sink the put for a boogie.  Debra was too distracted by Brenda’s situation and over-putted the ball.  It sailed passed the hole to stop over three feet away.  Debra was mad, she knew better than to lose her concentration.  She was beside herself when her next putt fell short and off to the side.  She slapped the last short putt in to give her a double boogie.  Both players walked solemnly to the next tee as a crowd filled with whispers and quiet chuckling.

The official at the sixth hole watched as both women removed their remaining shoe.  There was a pause as all eyes turned to Debra.  Debra bit her lip and stalled as she tried to decide what to do.  The official cleared his throat impatiently and Debra decided.  She reached inside her short top and unhooked her bra.  After releasing the snaps on her shoulder straps, she pulled the bra out from under the top.  Although Debra’s breasts were much smaller than Brenda, the tight shirt looked very tight on her body.  Dark nipples were visible through the thin white material.  Debra pulled her top down as far as she could as if that would somehow provide more covering.  A smile appeared on Brenda face as Debra’s plight.

The sixth, seventh and eight holes were played with no loss of clothes and the same total number of strokes.  On the ninth hole the players saw the size the crowds more than double.   The official had them hold up as the pair in front of Brenda and Debra had not yet cleared the green.  Brenda got her binoculars from her bag and looked at the green.  Her mouth dropped open as she watched a near naked player putting.  Only her tiny panties remained on her body.  She scanned the crowd around the green and saw many spectators with cameras taking pictures.   Brenda lowered her binoculars to see Debra was also watching the green with her own binoculars.  Brenda noticed that Debra was obviously turned on as her hard nipples made two pronounced points in her T-shirt.  The player sank the putt and moved on to the next hole.

The official told the women they could tee-off.  Brenda walked next to Debra as they approached the tee.  “I see you like the feel of that shirt”, whispered Brenda.  Brenda was rewarded with a brief look of shock on Debra’s face.  It only lasted a second before Debra’s classic open-mouthed smile reappeared.  By now the women’s tight shorts were tightly between their ass cheeks and did nothing to hide the luscious shape of their bottoms.

Brenda tee-up and drove her ball hooking slightly to fall in the edge of the rough.  She groaned as she realized it was unlikely that see could make par from there.  She waited as Debra tee-up her ball and drove straight down the middle of the fairway.  They played out the hole with Brenda getting a boogie and Debra barely making a putt for par.

At the tenth hole Brenda surrendered her top and kept her bra.  As much as she wanted her top, her bra would do more to help keep her breasts out of the way of her swing.  What she had not counted on was the response of the crowd.  As soon as she had removed her top, the crowd had cheered.  The crowd was not quiet like a normal golf audience, but more like that of a baseball game.  She was taken by surprise when during her tee-off a shout came from the crowd.  She swing went wrong and the sliced the ball down the rough on the right of the fairway.  Once again she had to wait for Debra whose long drive landed in the middle of the fairway.  Brenda contemplated what she would do when she boogied this hole.  Her second stroke was good, but when her third stroke fell into the sand traps in front of the green she was in a panic. 

Debra had her problems with her putting and boogied.  It was of little satisfaction to Brenda who struggled and got a double boogie.  “My god” thought Brenda “ I’ve got to take off two things now!  I’ve only got three.”   As she walked to the tenth hole Brenda trembled as she saw the crowd lining both sides of the course.  She spotted no less than four cameras being wheeled onto the rough behind the green.  She walked up to the tee and spotted the tournament official.  Brenda wanted to run and hide but the crowds closed up behind Debra as she followed Brenda.  Debra walked right up to the official and with only a brief hesitation she grabbed the waistband of her red shorts and pulled them down her legs.  A curious expression crossed Debra’s face and then changed into a smile.  “My God, she’s starting to like this!” thought Brenda.  The official threw Debra’s shorts to the crowd causing a rather rowdy rush to catch the still warm garment.  The official turned to Brenda and held out his hand.  Brenda, faced with losing two items, felt frozen in place.

“If you are unwilling to remove your two items, I will have the tournament guards do it for you…” the official threatened and continued “…at the cost of a penalty stroke, of course.”

Brenda looked at the encircling crowd and sighed.  She unhooked her bra and her large firm breasts came into view.  She wrapped her arms over her breasts to hide, but the official gave her another look.  She hooked her thumbs in her waistband.  After a moment of dread, she pulled her red shorts down her legs and stepped out of them.  The official tossed the shorts into the crowd and a ripping sound was heard as three men struggled over the garment.

Dressed in only her tiny lace panties Brenda felt the light breeze caress her nipples and pass between her legs.  She watched in horror as Debra, clad in only her panties and short T-shirt, drove the ball far down the center of the fairway.  Brenda forced her arms from over her breasts, teed-up a ball and drove the ball to within a few feet of Debra’s.  The cheers of the crowd became a constant roar as the two walked down the fairway.  Brenda’s drives were shorter than Debra’s drive, but Brenda’s green play was better. 

The two had pars and even a birdie until the sixteenth hole.  Debra seemed to become more comfortable as they played, but Brenda was becoming a wreck.  On the sixteenth tee Debra hit an uncharacteristic short drive and needed to one-putt the hole.  As usual her putt missed.  Brenda fought to maintain her composure and sank her putt.

“Let’s see how the flirt likes playing topless”, thought Brenda as they approached the seventeenth tee.  Brenda’s mouth dropped open to see Debra nonchalantly remove her panties instead of her T-shirt.  The crowd cheered as it saw that Debra was shaved bare between her legs.  The crowd roared hit Brenda almost like an ocean wave.  As embarrassed as Brenda was, she was angered as she saw the flat-chested Debra garnering most of the attention.

The seventeenth hole was the longest of the course.  While the crowd roared over Debra, Brenda selected her specially weighted club and tee-up a ball.  With no practice swing she struck the ball as far as she has ever had in her life.  It sailed as the crowd “Ooohed” and “Aaahed”.  The ball flew on and on to drop not fifty yards from the green.  With her arms across her chest Brenda turned to see that even Debra was awed by the long perfect drive.  For the first time Debra looked worried.

Debra teed-off and drove down the center of the fairway.  It sailed to fall twenty yards behind Brenda’s ball.  The two walked to their balls to the roar of the crowd.  Debra was not used to the noise or to being behind her opponent on the fairway.  Walking down the sunny fairway bottomless did nothing to improve her attitude.  When she took her stance over the ball she became very conscious of the crowd press closer than usual.  She was very aware than the front row was not more than nine feet from her naked butt.  She closed her eyes to gather her thoughts.  She opened her eyes and swung.  Her ball rose high in the air and fell sixty feet short of the green.

Brenda watched Debra’s ball and smiled.  There was no way Debra was going to par this hole.  Brenda kept her special driver; it was her secret weapon.  The special weighted shaft was not regulation, but she had finally decided she needed it to win.  It would add up to thirty yards to her drive and she still needed it to get to the green in two.  The leader board showed that she was two strokes behind the leader and needed a birdie to stay in the race.  She put her near nudity out of her mind and concentrated on her swing.  She took her breath, let half of it out and swung with all her might.  The ball flew off the head of her club and hung in the air.  Brenda held her breath, giggled and hopped with glee as she saw the ball bounce on the green.  The crowd cheered at the drive almost as much as the sight of her firm breasts bouncing.  The ball bounced twice more and rolled to a stop not three feet from the hole. 

Despite her topless condition Brenda strutted down the fairway and waited with her arms at her sides while Debra drove her ball onto the green.  Debra’s ball landed neat the hole and she one-putted it for a boogie.  Brenda made par and smiled as they walked to the eighteenth hold.  Debra surrendered her bra and stood naked and waiting.  Brenda took her time teeing up the ball.  She blocked out her near-naked condition and drove the ball halfway to the green.  Debra was distracted by her all-too naked condition and topped the ball a bit.  It hooked off to the left and came to rest only about ninety yards away.  Brenda had to wait as Debra drove again just passed Debra’s ball.  They played out the hole with Debra getting another boogie and Brenda sinking a long put for another birdie.

 

From her booth in the Nineteenth Hole Lounge Brenda saw a tally board that showed Brenda in a tie for second place, one stroke behind the leader.  Brenda and Debra had been led to the nineteenth hole.  Brenda felt self-conscious in only her lacy panties as she sat sipping a martini.   She somewhat relaxed as she observed most other players waiting completely naked.  She observed that Debra had recuperated enough to be flirting with a few of the league male bigwigs.  Sitting naked on a barstool with her legs crossed, Debra seemed to be acting as if nudity was a normal state for her.  Brenda was hiding her inner frustration with Debra’s ease.

A short thing man in a business suit entered and talked briefly to the league bigwigs.  The men left the room in a group only to re-appear fifteen minutes later and walk directly to Brenda’s table.

“Ms. Carsons,” spoke the head official, “at the request of a player and two hole officials, we examined your clubs.  It appears you have used non-regulation equipment on the course.  We must disqualify you from competition.  Additionally, you will surrender your remaining clothing immediately.”

Remaining in her seat Brenda squirmed out of her panties and placed them in the outstretched hand of the official.  He pocketed them and spoke.  “As a disciplinary action you will now be taken to the Tall Peaks course near Las Vegas to practice for the tournament next week.”

Brenda let out her breath in relief.  This might be embarrassing, but not too bad.  “I’ll just get my things from the hotel.”

“That isn’t necessary.  All your things are being gathered and transported there immediately to await your arrival.”

A sinking feeling formed in the pit of Brenda’s stomach.  “I don’t understand.  Why won’t I have the clothes with me?” she asked nervously.

A smile crept onto the head official’s face.  “You didn’t pay attention to paragraph seven of your league contract.  You will be driven to Colorado dress, uh, undressed as you are.  You are required to remain that way until you once again succeed in making the cut in the qualifying rounds.”  He turned to a young man in a league jacket.  “You are to drive the schedule to the hotel as we discussed.  If she wears anything at anytime, you are to inform me immediately upon your arrival at the hotel.’

Brenda was in disbelief as two officials grabbed and escorted her from the room.  The young man turned to the head official.  “I’ll make sure we make all twelve scheduled publicity stops as planned.  She and the league will get plenty of exposure.”  He smiled broadly and added, “I’ll make you proud.  Thanks, Uncle Jack.”