Yearend Inventory
by Randolph O. Mann
Linda prodded, “Hurry up and get a move on, Karen, or this ‘shindig’ is going to be over before we finish dressing and we'll never get downstairs to enjoy the dancing.”
Karen replied, “I am hurrying, but Rome was not built in a day, Sweetie.”
“A day? Karen, if you don’t shake-a-leg it will literally be next year before we get to make our grand obligatory and fashionably late appearance at the T. Winston, INC New Year Eve Celebration.”
“Next year, that is real funny! Now stop nagging me, Linda, I am only applying a few finishing touches to this world class work of art I affectionately call my body.”
“I have our coats. Karen, please just grab your bag and let’s get going! You can put your face on while riding in the lift. The platform is waiting to take this Cinderella downward the twelve floors to where her Prince Charming from the Mailroom is waiting.”
“Relax, baby. The night is still very young and so is your Mr. Steel Buns, and there is nothing to be getting your panties in a bunch about.”
“Stop saying that! I don't want to miss a minute of this evening.” Linda skittered in a circle around the placid Karen.
“Linda, you are just panicky because this ‘new guy’ has only been employed at Winston, INC for less than year and he didn’t get the ‘pleasure’ of watching your Sugar Plum Fairy Burlesque Dance. For that matter, your bundle of hot burning love is far too good-looking to ever have extra time to waste watching TV, especially the PBC channel, so he might be the only T. Winston, INC employee that has not seen you out of your kit, honey.
“Karen, that is really not funny and it’s also totally untrue. The visually challenged IT fellow has also confirmed he has only heard vague descriptions of the broadcast from his co-workers, so that would make two uninformed employees that come quickly into mind. And you had better ‘step on it’ Karen! I just pushed the button for the elevator.”
“Linda, hold the door! I am on my way, let me just grab my shoes!”
“All aboard! Next stop is Party Central!”
Both ladies stepped into the elevator as the door slowly closed behind them. The two women spun around staring vacantly at the closed elevator door and waited and waited and waited. But the elevator did not move. The girls looked at each other with quizzical expressions, but neither had any intention of making a mad dash down twelve flights of stairs on high heels, arriving at the yearend festivities overheated and disheveled. Karen repeatedly engaged the Lobby elevator button hoping to stimulate the elevator into action. But nothing happened and out of pure frustration Linda started banging on the closed door until finally the suspended cubicle lurched downward.
Linda exclaimed,“There we go!”
But sadly the ladies’ reverie was short lived. The elevator descended only half a floor before stopping between floors. The Party-Girls each expelled nervous giggles before they both were compelled to try banging upon the closed elevator door. Their fierce assault came to no avail, and the first hint of the serious nature of their present situation began to fill the elevator car with a deafening silence that was only broken by a commanding voice coming from the speaker in the elevator control panel.
“Now, now, ladies! Violence is never the answer.”
Linda gasped, "Oh thank God! I was afraid we were going to be late for the Executive Party. Please see that this ‘car’ gets taken out of service once we reach the lobby."
Karen said sternly, “Yes, this type of malfunction should never be allowed to happen! What if a T. Winston, INC customer was inconvenienced by such a failure? I will expect to find a completed Incident Report and supporting Maintenance Report on my desk in Human Resources when I return to work."
Linda added, “And copies at my work station in the Sales Department, too!”
“That is some very rough barking coming out of such very soft looking bitches.”
Linda was shocked. She muttered,“No he didn’t say that!”
Karen demanded, “Excuse me! What did you just say?”
“I said you two ‘Lookers’ are about to learn who is really wearing the britches in this elevator and who is not!”
Linda threatened, “Mister, you have the pleasure of addressing Linda Browne, a member of The T. Winston, Inc Executive Staff, and that type of bathroom language will be the final mistake you will make this year! I can promise you that!"
Karen joined in. “And as Senior Secretary in Human Recourses at T. Winston, INC I can assure you, young man, that will be your last mistake at T. Winston, INC, EVER! I can promise you that!”
“In that case, I have nothing to lose, do I? And it is quite evident you two women clearly need a timeout.” And the lights in the elevator went out.
Linda shouted, “Hey, this is not funny!
Karen screamed,“You are already in enough trouble, Buster! Just turn those lights back on before you find yourself facing criminal kidnapping charges!" .
.
.
“Did you hear what I said?
.
.
.
Linda spoke quietly. “Hello?”
.
.
.
“Hello? Are you still there?"
.
.
.
“Come on, turn the lights on!”
Karen whispered, “Please...”
Linda said, “Yes please, turn the lighting back on.”
“That sounds a little more like it!”
Linda pleaded, “You are correct and sir, we actually should apologize and are politely asking you to please, turn the lights back on in this elevator. ”
“Why should I do that? What is in it for me?”
Karen roared, “Now Listen here Mister..."
“Karen, that is enough! We are in no position to be tossing around orders or making demands. It that not plain as day? Well ‘day’ is a bad choice in words, but it is obvious that we got off to a very poor start with Mister, aw, Mister, it seems you failed to provide us with your name, Sir.”
“Off!”
“Off? Ok, Mr. Off. Negotiations happen to fall into my area of job skills as Sales & Marketing Director, so what would it take to get the lights back on in this elevator, Mr. Off”
“No! Take ‘off’’ your coats!”
Karen shrieked, “What!”
“Karen, shut up! I will be handling the negotiations with Mr. Off.”
“This guy is a nut! It is pitch black inside this elevator so making us strip is crazy and if you think I am just going to cooperate with such demands you are crazy too, Linda!”
“I said button it, KAREN! Now, Mr. Off, Karen has made an interesting point, having us exposed upon such a muted ‘stage’ serves no purpose. For that matter how could you verify our compliance in such darkness?
“I have installed a night vision camera, ladies!”
“What?”
“It seems Mr. Off has been watching us with the aid of a night vision photography lens, Karen.”
“Eeooou!?”
“We need to calm down, Karen, and use our ‘noggins’.”
“This guy is sick!”
“Karen, it is provocative remarks just like that one that only adds fuel to the fire. We need to take a moment and compose ‘ourselves’ and ‘together’ think our way through this dilemma. Now, at the elevator control panel there must be an emergency lever.”
“Here it is!”
“Lift it!”
And the lights in the elevator came back on.
Karen sighed with relief. “That is a lot better! Now that we have shed some light upon this regrettable circumstance and, at the same time, we have just alerted the proper authorities. I believe it will only be a few minutes before rescue personal arrive and extract us from this very unfortunate state of affairs."
“That particular lever only engages an auxiliary battery operated lighting system, girls!”
“Shit!”
“What does that mean, Linda?”
“It means we will just have to use our cell phones and call the rescue personal ourselves by calling 911.”
“You go girl!”
Linda opened her cell phone. “Shit!”
“What does that mean?
“There is no signal inside the elevator shaft.”
“Does that mean what I think it does?”
“I am afraid so, our rescue plans are on hold at present.”
“Lose the jackets, you little trollops!”
Karen shouted, “When pigs fly, asshole!”
Linda screamed, “You can bite me first, pervert!”
“Ok, Ladies have it your way, I will be seeing you bright and early on Monday morning, then.”
Karen asked, “Monday? What is he talking about?”
“Shit!”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we are screwed, Karen! Recall that New Year’s Day falls on Thursday this year, and all T. Winston, INC employees have been given the following Friday off too. Our whole campus will be closed down four days until Monday morning of next week and we could be spending this four-day-weekend inside this elevator.”
“Without toilet facilities.”
“Shit!”
“I know what ‘without toilet facilities’ means, Linda.”
“Do you also know, that means eventually this ‘punk’ will win and have his own perverted way with us?”
“Shit?”
“My point, exactly!”
“Will you ladies care to check your wraps, now?”
Karen muttered,“I hate this guy!”
Linda whispere, “Let’s just humor him a little so this jerk gets bored with his ‘power trip’ and releases us.”
“Linda, that never works, can’t you remember that awful afternoon we had to endure the whims of your ‘trusted’ personal assistant?”
“Work with me here Karen! If this idiot senses any fear on our part, only God knows what he might do? So take off your coat, Karen, we need to buy ourselves a little time until we can stumble upon a practical strategy!”
Both women slipped out of their clubbing jackets and held the decorative outer sheathing in the direction of the surveillance camera to confirm their compliance.
“Now the dresses."
Karen shrieked, “Get stuffed!”
“I am afraid that is just not going to happen, Mr. Off.”
“Last chance, strip off those dresses ladies, or else!”
Karen shouted,“Read my lips! NOoooooo wa ay
ay
ay
ay
ay
ay!”
The elevator floor fell out from under the unsuspecting executives and their stomachs traveled directly into their pretty little throats as their suspended cage plummeted downward, eventually screeching to an abruptly forced stop.
Linda was the first ot recover. “Son of a...”
“Ladies, do I now have your complete attention and full cooperation?”
Both women chorused, “Yes sir, Mr. Off!”
“Good. Ladies, it is truly amazing how free falling five floors in an elevator shaft has placed all three of us upon the same page.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Off”
“I have managed to stop the elevator with the floor exactly three inches below the door header on the seventh floor. So when I open the elevator door you lovely young administrators will discover a gap exposed near your nice-looking footwear, and I will ask both of you very handsome women to just kick your purses containing both of your Blackberries through the tiny crevice that appears at floor level of this platform. Once the car doors opens you two will find a space just large enough to permit such special beauties as you to deposit your ‘valuables’ into the surreptitious custody of the Law Office of Adams, Adams and Morris, located on the fifth floor with the Legal Department. At least that is what the building directory claims”
“Yes sir, Mr. Off”
“Thank you, ladies. The next stop will be the sixth floor Human Resources Office, where I must ask both of you to deliver your attention-gathering jackets via a similar maneuver into the deserted Administrative Center. Thus avoiding a repeat of the hair-raising aerobatics that both of you extremely intelligent females found so distasteful."
“Yes sir, Mr. Off”
“Thank you, ladies for that smooth progression. The next stop upon this ‘Magical Mystery Tour’ will be a short lay over in House Ware and Personal Items located on the fifth floor which sounds to me to be the perfect place to ask such very pretty girls to step out of those figure-flattering lycra clubbing dresses, as I would like to inspect ‘your’ personal items.”
Resigned to their awkward plight both corporate bureaucrats slithered, twisted, squirmed, and wiggled from the limitations of the pliable fabric until they were able to make their ‘daring escape’ before depositing the aberrant garb through the opening inconveniently located for them at ankle height and watched as their dancing costumes fluttered towards the fifth floor carpeting. The next pitch downward by the floating dungeon delivered the reluctant undergarment divas into a like arrangement at the fourth floor, Men’s Apparel.
“It is ironies of ironies that you two particular administrators will be losing you knickers where according to the Building Directory and a plethora of ‘in-house gossip’ rumors assert your panties should be suitably warehoused."
Karen asked, “What does that mean?”
“It means Mr. Off thinks very highly of his own witticisms AND we must drop our drawers, Little Sister.”
Karen pleaded, “Mr. Off, I can not believe that you expect us to just strip-off for your personal viewing pleasure.”
“I really was hoping, actually counseling might be a better choice of vocabulary, that you two girls would passively comply with my simple demands, because from the fourth floor of this building I assume the ‘play’ found in the suspension cables when braking an elevator of this vintage is capricious and very problematic. But if you young ladies need further prodding I can simply release the cable-grip and we will all just hope for the best.”
“Wait! Mr. Off, there will be no need to place anyone a risk as you can plainly see Karen and I are more that willing to disrobe without having you plummeting us into submission."
Both provocative samplings of Victoria’s Secret slid ‘south’ over the female’s tanned lower appendages and summarily were sent flying out of the hanging prison before settling upon the floor of the vacant Men’s Apparel showroom.
“I really must compliment both of you upon your choice of erotic undergarments. Shelf-style foundation attire has always been a favorite of mine.”
Linda complained, “Mr. Off, I must point out that your requests are placing demands upon our modesty that quite frankly I find demeaning and very offensive."
With both women providing stimulating poses as they desperately tried to cover ‘nature’s nests’ with crossed hands while their bodies were displayed in all their sexy glory, scantly attired with only control top stockings and lacy bras. The elevator floor was allowed to lurch downward only a couple of inches, but that was all it took to reestablish control and return the mutinous females to a more compliant attitude.
Linda shouted, “Never mind.”
“Good, I am glad you ladies feel relaxed enough to share your concerns and took this opportunity ‘get them off your chests’. Now I would also like to see you women take this moment to get those lacy halters off your chests too. Drop them through the floor level opening.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Off.”
Without further hesitation both women reached between their shoulder blades to release the clasps of their brassieres, allowing the support-attire to relax and making public their acquiescent cargo. The elastic fashions joined their matching counterparts upon the unoccupied fourth floor showroom. Both women were now obliged to simultaneously swathe the bust and pelvic areas as their lovely evening wear was currently reduced to pairs of black silk stockings. Their tormentor returned the controls of the elevator to the computer managing their car.
“Three, two, one! Happy New Year, ladies!”
The doors of the elevator slowly opened affording both trapped women an opportunity to make a dash to freedom. They bounded out of their confinement and into the waiting arms of Randy.
“I am soooOH, glad to see you!” Karen said.
“Me too, Randy!”
“Ladies, the feeling is mutual and I think I speak for all of the T. Winston, INC employees at this party, when I say ‘We are very glad to see All of you too’. Happy New Year, everybody!”
The End