Limited Dental Coverage
by Randolph O. Mann
The dentist's receptionist asked, “Ladies, if you both will step this way and follow me into room number three, Doctor Smelling will see you now.”
(One hour and forty five minutes later)
The receptionist said, “Linda, I have you down for a return visit and a courtesy reminder will arrive in the mail. Have a nice day, ladies.”
In the elevator Karen asked, “Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Linda replied, “No, it really wasn’t. Where did you hear about this dentist? He is good, really good.”
“Mr. Winston’s nephew told me about him. I met him in the cafeteria at work and we got talking. He said Dr. Smelling was an expert at painless dentistry.”
“To tell you the truth, Karen, I didn’t feel a thing. For that matter, I don’t remember anything after the dentist said, ‘your eyes are getting very heavy’.”
“Well, I can remember every single second of your visit. And in perfect detail, I might add!”
“Stop it Karen, you know how these visits scare me! I just hate going to the dentist, I really hate it! It's not the pain; I hate that helpless feel of sitting in the dentist’s chair knowing he can do almost anything he wants. God, I just hate the whole idea of that. Plus, I am always finding stories in the newspaper about some pervert taking advantage of his patients. That is why I can not thank you enough for coming along today as my chaperone for this dentist appointment.”
Karen shrugged. “That is what best friends do, we watch out for each other’s backside. Now, let’s find a nice place and get some lunch, I am starving, darling.
“… Karen?”
“Yes?”
“I have been thinking and I just have to ask this...”
“Ok?”
“You were present in the room during the entire time, watching the full procedure, correct?
“I sure was!”
“Because I can not remember anything after my eyes started to close until I heard the dentist snapping his fingers.”
“Relax, my precious. Your loving ‘Auntie Karen’ was there the whole time, woof.
“I was at my baby’s side from the moment my snookie-wook-ems went under until the very second the dentist snapped his fingers releasing this sweetie of mine from his spell, woof.
“Dear, I watched this guy like a hawk, no I watched over my little chick-a-dee like a mother hen, woof.
“Trust me turtledove, there was absolutely no funny business taking place during your examination, woof.
“Honey, I found your dentist to be the perfect gentleman, observing all the proper proprieties towards my little treasure, woof.
“Sugar, I am proud to report how the dentist even insisted upon providing a modesty drape to cover my cutie-pie’s short skirt and legs, woof.
“I was even allowed to observe the flossing, the scaling, the x-ray, the rinsing, and there was a lot of rinsing babe, woof.
“Believe me baby doll, when the dentist probed, it was only in my sweetmeat’s mouth, woof.
“I even confirmed with the dental assistant that his instrument was disease free before I let him enter my special jewel, woof.
“And I insisted he wore Universal Precautions the whole time too, woof.
“In fact, your dentist even made me sit across from him and watch, while he worked in my honey jar’s mouth, woof. ”
Linda asked, “If what you are saying is true, then why are my panties missing?”
“I don’t know. But now that you mention it, somehow my panties have disappeared too, woof. ”
“We need to talk! And do you know if the 'Mr. Winston’s nephew' you met is named Randolph?”