Chapter 39

When Simone was gone, Janey came over and sat on my lap, curled up in a ball and wept. All the fear, all the terror, all the unknown came rushing out. Things were OK, now. Simone was back safe. She could let go.

I let her cry. In between her tears, she told me that she had remembered what I had done for her when she had been hiding from reality. How I had sat by her bed and talked to her. So she did that with Nicole. She told about Steven's attack on her. What she had felt like. How she had wanted to die. She told her of Sally's bet with me, the whole thing. How I had agreed, reluctantly, to help her adjust sexually. That that was why we were so open in the house, why Janey could tease me like she did.

I let her cry herself out. We were both lying there when we felt the reunion between Nicole and Simone. I felt almost guilty eavesdropping on their emotions like that. I asked Janey if she ever got used to it. I think she felt as guilty as I did. It was a rather touching reunion.

Nicole and Simone came out of the Free Room together. In European fashion, they were holding hands. They came over to where Janey and I were sitting. Nicole was naked, as she had been with Sally as her mistress. That would have to change. I whispered for Janey to go get her one of Sally's slave outfits. Janey jumped up and came back with it in a flash.

I had Janey help Nicole put it on. It didn't fit quite the same as it did on Sally, but it did wonders for her ego. She knelt down at my feet and grabbed on to my ankles. I felt her tears washing over them. I looked up at Simone to see what she was thinking. I wasn't prepared for the beaming smile she gave me. Whatever I had done seemed to have been a step in the right direction.

I had been dreading going down to get Sally. When Nicole seemed to be less weepy, I told her to get up and follow me. I told the girls to have Bala call Amud and to help her pack. I knew he didn't like to be away from her any longer than necessary. I knew he didn't like her in the house with me when he wasn't here, too. It's not that he didn't trust us both. He just didn't trust us both together. I didn't blame him. Bala was beginning to grow on me.

I had been sensing Sally since I got home. I had shot her a message to prepare herself when I had arrived. I had sensed a quiet resolution and peace from her in return. I wasn't sure I liked that serenity in her and, frankly, it scared the shit out of me. I made my way to the dungeon, sending her reassurances the entire way. All I got back was that damned calm message that she was at peace with herself.

Nicole followed me into the dungeon. She gasped as she saw Sally. Her face was drawn, haggard, as if she had not slept in the week we were gone. It was entirely possible that she had refused herself that luxury. In preparing for us, she had fouled herself. There was a trail of urine beginning at her knees that was slowly heading for the floor drain. Streaks of brown on her thighs indicated the path of her feces. The stench was just beginning to reach eye-watering intensity. Her eyes clouded with tears for another reason as she saw Nicole wearing one of her slave costumes. I felt the fear in her heart. I did nothing to still it.

"Master? Has she been here the entire time?"

"Yes."

"Mon Dieu!"

The whip Sally had used to beat Nicole was still on the floor where it had fallen that night. It had been within her view the entire time as she knelt in the stocks. I went over and picked it up. I handed it to Nicole.

"Get it out of your system."

She looked at the whip as if it was of alien origin. She looked up at me confused. "Master? I do not understand."

I pointed at Sally. "She hurt you, beat you badly. Now it is your turn."

Sally, already pale, whitened completely at that statement. That was not what she thought I had meant when I told her to prepare herself. She braced herself when Nicole went up to her holding the whip in both hands like a club. I was prepared to intervene if necessary as she raised it high over her head.

The whip crashed down, but I didn't move. The force of the blow broke the shaft of the weapon, knocking it out of her hands and across the room. Nicole walked over to it, bent down and picked up the now ruined whip. She handed it to me. "It is out of my system. May I help her clean up now, Master?"

I looked at her and smiled in gratitude. She had made the first important unilateral step of forgiveness in the process of reconciliation between the two women and made it in such a way that ensured a healing. She had broken the whip over the post behind Sally. I was looking forward to getting to know this exotic looking woman better.

"Come into the Free Room when you are both ready." As I was leaving, I heard the two women crying and sobbing, asking each other's forgiveness. They had both been wrong, they had both been hurt. It had been my all my fault. We all knew that, too.

They made me wait. Amud came and gathered Bala. Janey and I expressed our thanks to him for letting her come. He sincerely wished me peace in my house. Bala, surprising both of us, requested Janey to come visit her. She had been impressed with her taking charge, how she had handled herself. There was much she could teach her, she said, if I would allow it. She didn't ask Amud's permission before speaking up, and I saw him roll his eyes in exasperation. He did give me a quick nod of assent before I agreed, however, grinning as he did. As much as he protested, I think he enjoyed his wife's unpredictable nature more and more. It was exciting, anyway. I agreed that Janey would go over in a few days and stay for an extended visit.

When Sally and Nicole did come into the Free Room, I saw immediately what had taken so much time. Sally had whipped up a slave outfit for Nicole, one that fit her like a glove and showed off her charms in a most appealing and inviting way. I'm not sure who was more pleased with my stares at Nicole, she or Sally. I kept checking my sense for any jealousy from Sally, but there simply wasn't any. So I kept staring. Eventually at both of them.

Sally, giggling, finally broke the lustful interlude, "Did you want to see us, Master, or just see us?" She giggled at her own joke. It was good to hear her laugh, but there were serious matters to discuss.

I grinned at her, and held out my arms to her. She collapsed against me, dissolving in the sobs of the deep sorrow that was still just below the surface. I held her to me, consoling her. Nicole stood watching our embrace. She was not embarrassed at this intimacy nor did she turn away. It was simply not her turn. She would wait.

Setting Sally down in one of the comfortable chairs around the table in the room, I held another chair out for Nicole. I took another chair facing the two. Briefly, before I started, I checked with my senses on the two teenagers. Both were intense sources of curiosity, standing just outside the door. I gave them a good-natured growl over our link, thought of a picture of a grizzly bear, which I knew Janey would hate, and sent them to clean their room. We heard mock screams of terror as they fled the vicinity.

Nicole looked puzzled at what had just happened. She had not experienced the link, perhaps never would. Sally looked stunned. I had just sent a message with such apparent ease over my link where a week before I couldn't hardly come to grips with having the ability at all. I didn't try to explain it to her, but she was clearly impressed with my grasp of it.

"This is the Free Room. Free Room rules apply. Is that clear?" I asked them.

Both nodded.

"I made an error in judgement giving Sally authority over you, Nicole. I apologize." I turned to Sally. "I made an error of pride in not listening to you, Sally. Please forgive me." I waited.

Nicole spoke first, after first glancing at Sally, who nodded. "Lawrence, what works with some will not work with all. You need to see Sally and me as different. You need to see us for who and what we are. For myself, I do not wish to be a mistress and have authority over someone."

"I find that hard to believe, Nicole. You were the CEO of a successful company. You made decisions and controlled people's lives every day."

"I was terrified every minute of the day, every day of the week. It is not that I cannot make decisions, or think, or act on my own. I just do not wish to have responsibility for others. It terrifies me. Can you do that, Lawrence?"

"You are asking me to treat you differently. I can do that. Will you also accept that many times, most of the time, in fact, I may need to treat you in the same manner? That there may not be much difference?"

She grinned, nodding. "Apology accepted, Lawrence."

Sally was quiet for a minute. "You hurt me, by not listening to me."

I nodded. This was not going to go well, I could tell.

"I forgive you."

It couldn't be that simple.

It wasn't. I suddenly felt an awful pressure on my balls. I looked at Sally. Both her hands were on the table, as were Nicole's. Both sat too far away to reach me with their feet. Still the pressure increased. Sweat broke out on my forehead. I groaned in pain. I saw spots. More than anything I wanted to reach down and break the grip of whatever it was that was slowly grinding my gonads. But I knew there was nothing there. I groaned again, fast losing consciousness.

Opening my senses, I saw two dainty hands holding an oversized garlic press to my nuts. I recognized those hands. I had just seen them. They were resting on the table across from me. I looked up in terror at Sally.

"Don't you ever ignore me like that again, buster," came her sweet voice lilting across the link. "That hurt me, that you, you, you toyed with me. Oh. By the way, you aren't the only one who has been practicing. I've had a lot of time on my hands lately..."

I gasped as the pressure suddenly disappeared. "One more thing. I love you, Master," she ended. I didn't know you could giggle across the link.

I had to wait to stop shaking before I continued. I would never be safe in this house again. With my voice still shaky, I asked, "Are you done?"

"Lawrence, is something the matter. You don't look well. You are flushed."

"He's OK, Nikki." Nicole, too, had apparently acquired a nickname. Sally was looking at me, talking to me through her explanation to Nicole. "Its just something that happens to a man when he realizes how stupid he's been. This time the pain passed quickly, but the reason for it will be remembered for a long time. That about right, Larry?"

Nicole looked puzzled, but didn't press it.

I nodded in full agreement, then got on with the meeting. "There are going be some changes. First, Sally, I want you to take Nicole down and set up hers and Simone's accounts like yours and Janey's. Nicole, the way the money is handled around here is like this: I don't touch your money. Any interest, wages or other income is yours. It goes into the accounts that Sally will help you set up. You are free to spend or invest your money however you want. Until Simone is of legal age, you will have signatory authority on her account. I will be paying for all living expenses for my household out of my own funds. Anything having to do with the functioning of the household, I will pay for. Is that clear?"

Sally and Nicole both nodded in agreement. It had been bothering Nicole that this issue had not been addressed.

"Second, we are moving."

That got a bigger reaction from them. Nicole relaxed a bit more. It was another area of concern for her. Sally looked surprised, and a little distressed.

Before she could protest, I explained my reasons, "Sally, this is your home. Nicole is uncomfortable." I waited to see if she would accept that.

Sally looked over at Nicole, pleading in her eyes.

"Don't hold this against Nicole. It's my decision."

"Where will we move, Master?"

"To my family home. You just stayed there with Marion."

"But Janey..." she started to protest. I cut her off. I had thought this out. It was decided.

"...will commute to her high school here for her senior year. She has her license and I will get her a dependable car. Simone will be seeing a kind of counselor in Washington on a weekly basis, and the new house is closer for her commute. It is also closer to the symphony, Mac and CeCe, and Amud and Bala. It is also closer to the Guild, which is important for a reason I will explain later"

Sally sighed in resignation. That attitude wasn't what I wanted to see in her. She had to not only accept this but embrace it enthusiastically.

"Sally, this is not a punishment or a reflection on you in any way. You will still keep this house. You can use it as an escape, a haven for yourself. I'm sure Nicole will use her own home for the same thing, from time to time. What you two are asking me to do means we're going to have to turn all of our concepts of marriage and the traditional gender roles of who does what upside down. It could get intense during the adjustment period and for a long time afterwards. New things may come up and disturb the environment from time to time, too. You may need to regroup, readjust to the new situation. You may need to leave for a while. You can't do that now."

"I would never leave you, Larry!"

"Never is a very strong word, Sally."

"I..." She stopped, suddenly realizing the enormity of the implications of what she had started by bringing in Nicole. It had felt right to her, she knew it could work. She just hadn't bothered to work out the details. Putting it into practice needed planning, not feelings. I knew her a little better now, I knew this was how she functioned. She went on feeling, I went on fact.

"You are right, Master. I hadn't thought about that. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"It's still going to be tough. I haven't worked out everything, you know. You two will have to do some thinking, too...." I grinned at them both. "Sally, since you are in charge of the household - yes, that will continue to be your chief function - you will be in charge of the remodeling and the move. I want to be moved by the start of school, so you're going to have your work cut out for you. Work out with Marion which rooms she needs, which ones we can have. There should be more than enough room for all of us in one wing. She can have the other. Work with her. Whatever you decide is OK. Clear?"

She nodded, her mind already working. Give a woman a reason to spend a lot of money, and you could generally count on a few peaceful days.

It was going to take more than a few days to remodel the monstrosity of a house my father had built. He had been a struggling family lawyer, barely making enough to feed his family and keep us out of the slums. As it was, we were right next door to them. It was a hard time for us - even I remember that - but we were happy. I remember the laughter, the stories around the table, the love.

Something happened to change him. He never said what it was, exactly, but I suspect that he finally realized the futility of trying to change human nature. The people he represented were no more interested in truth or justice than was the legal system. They just wanted a ticket to easy street. He fought against the trend towards frivolous lawsuits for years and refused to file them, mostly as a matter of honor. He tried to work out equitable settlements between the parties when there was a real injury or loss. He was a highly respected man, but you can't eat respect.

It nearly broke his practice when the courts started making punitive damage awards on the basis of pain and suffering or mental anguish. I can remember one winter we had almost no food and less heat. Momma got sick and any money we had went for medicine. We all chipped in and helped, and she got better, but she wasn't ever the same.

Whatever happened, he did a complete about face. Fuck the system, seemed to be his new motto. He was going for the bucks. As he did with everything, as he had taught me to do, he went after it with all that he had. He was good, too, but it ate him up inside.

Within a year, he had nailed several large contingency cases with exorbitant damage claims. His contingency fee was 50% for an out of court settlement, and the usual 30% for a court settlement. He couldn't seem to lose a case, even with the most ridiculous positions. He took particular relish in quoting the liberal court's rulings and turning them against the particular perversion of justice that had instigated the ruling. Most people remember the Bakke reverse discrimination case, where a white male sued a medical school because minority students, who were less qualified than he, were accepted while he was not. My Dad was the architect of that strategy, although he didn't represent Mr. Bakke. He took particular delight in setting the liberal court on its ear. I think he was hoping the system would come to its senses.

When the dollar amounts of the court settlements he was winning started reaching the stratosphere and going even higher on the appeals, opposing counsels quickly began offering out of court settlements to avoid having to pay those judgements. It made no difference to Dad.

With more money than he could spend in ten lifetimes, Dad decided to build a house. Not just a house, though. He wanted it to be a fitting monument to the ludicrous manner in which it had been earned. Against all advice of the city planners, real estate agents and pretty near everybody who knew about it, he bought a huge parcel of land about 10 minutes from his office, surrounded by low and very low income housing. An imposingly high and very solid brick wall also surrounded it. The property, about four city blocks square, or 16 square blocks, had belonged to a cloister that had consolidated with another order. Its close location to Mac's house was the reason I went to the same high school as Mac. As a white boy and girl, Marion and I were in the minority in that school.

Whether he was a savvy investor or just plain lucky, he bought the place, probably to spite the experts. Knowing my Dad, though, it was more likely because he hated a long commute to work. The reconstruction project was initially called "Sampson's Folly", not very original, but just try to buy that house today. The last offer we had was approaching one billion. Some country wanted it for an embassy or something.

Originally there was a monstrosity of a building on a hill in the center of the estate. Veritable park-like thickly wooded pastures surrounded it on all four sides. A long sweeping drive led from the gatehouse up to the house that I humbly called 'home' during my formative teen years. I still remember the first time I saw it. I thought it was a hospital, it was so big and had so many rooms with beds in them.

Dad gutted the place, starting on one wing. We lived out of boxes in the other during the reconstruction. The building was basically 'U' shaped, about 3 stories above ground, and at least 2 below. I say at least, because it was rumored by the construction crews that the floor at the lowest level didn't sound right. It wasn't solid enough, as there were hollow sounds and echoes that seemed to come up from below. Dad figured that's where the nun's had buried their dead, as there weren't any other burial grounds on the property. We never found any way that led deeper, and the place had really been torn apart during the remodel.

That make-over had been in the late 1960's. The task I was giving Sally was to upgrade the place. Cable, telephone and Internet access to the living and working areas, modern fixtures in the bathrooms. In particular, to revitalize the industrial sized kitchen. That room was such a key area in our family life, and I expected that to continue. She was going to have her work cut out for her to add any functionality to that monstrosity of a kitchen.

From the twinkle in her eyes, I could see she had already accepted the challenge. I wanted to add a small twist. There was one room I had in mind for a particular use. It had been my favorite room growing up.

The main entrance to the house was at the base of the 'U'. A huge double door opened onto an expanse of marble flooring that seemed to stretch forever. Twin staircases wound down from a salon on the second floor. A mammoth chandelier hung from the ceiling, three stories above the floor. Glass French doors along the far wall separated the huge entry from the main ballroom. These doors could be opened to nearly double the floor space for a cotillion.

It was the salon on the second floor that was my favorite room. The room above it, on the third floor had been gutted and the floor removed. From the peak of the roof and extending down the entire expanse of wall to the floor of the salon had been glassed in as a kind of solarium. When I had to think, I would go in there, lie on the floor and stare at the stars high above. It was like you were outside, they were so clear.

I wanted that room to be the center point for our new relationship. I told Sally to take the ideas from the Arabian room we had here at her house and apply them there. She looked puzzled, but on that point I was insistent. There were to be pillows, thick carpeting, a few plants, but no telephones, TVs or large furnishings. I also wanted two distinct areas, a Women's area and a Men's area.

Having said that and given Sally her tasks, I turned to Nicole. "You will go to work. I've contacted some people I know who could use a good neurochemist. You will have the opportunity to meet them first and test some of their devices before you decide to work for them." I thought Sally was going to explode with laughter when she figured out what kind of 'testing' Nicole would be doing with the Rosen's devices. A sharp look from me barely contained her gaiety.

"If that place doesn't work out, we will find something else, perhaps teaching. But you will work in your field. Agreed?"

Nicole's face was streaked with happy tear-tracks. She nodded her agreement happily. If she thought she had been getting the best end of the deal so far, she hadn't heard anything yet.

"Sally, I need you to know that my next decision was very tough for me to make. I made the decision I did for one basic reason, all other things being equal. I know you have asked me to treat you differently, and I will. I will also attempt to do so without showing either of you a preference. With our history, Sally, that will be hard. I know you, I'm comfortable with you. Our feelings for each other have been tested and found to be strong.

"That's the reason I have decided to take Nicole to Washington with me. The President has decided to throw a party, balls and fancy dinners and stuff. I have to go. I need to spend time alone with Nicole to get to know her. So, if Nicole will consent to going off for a long weekend with me on our first date, she will accompany me."

Sally took it hard. If she had one vice, if was for fancy dress parties. She didn't like to throw them so much as she loved to dress up and go watch the people interact. She said it was like nothing else she had ever seen. People who would stab each other in the back if they met on the street would smile and talk like old friends at a ball or cocktail party. It was where she and I had met the first time.

Trooper that she was, she nodded. She understood, and would try hard not to let it get to her. Besides, with the deadline I had given her on the remodel, she was going to be a busy lady. I knew she was going to make me pay for it later.

We called the two teens in and broke the news to them. Janey wasn't too thrilled about moving until she heard she was going to get a car out of it. She was talking Beemer or Porsche, she was getting a Nissan or Toyota.

Simone's eyes glistened when she heard she would be seeing Gertie regularly and would be close enough to her Agency office at the new house to see her whenever she could. The only fly in the ointment came when I told her she was going to have her own room. I could see that disturbed her. I asked why. She asked, looking shyly at Janey for confirmation, if they couldn't just have a larger room and call it their room, rather than one for her and one for Janey.

Janey nodded her agreement quickly and I looked at Sally and then Nicole. They both agreed, a secret smile shared between them. Already I didn't like the way this was going. Four against one was just about fair odds when I was in a combat situation against men. I didn't stand a chance in this circumstance with one woman, much less four! It was going to be a Hell of an adventure, though.

Chapter 40

The next week was a flurry of activity. Nicole and Simone spent most of their days at their old house packing their things. Some things they moved in now, some things were staying there and some would move to the new house. Nicole had taken Sally over to her house and asked her what would be OK to take where. As far as I could tell the new relationship was working out. I kept everything crossed that I could cross in the faint hope that it would continue and thrive.

Sally met with Marion and got carte blanche to do whatever she wanted to the family house. I had this nagging feeling once again that I should be worried about the apparent nonchalance with which my normally stuffy sister was treating this unusual family structure I was building. More than that, I was going to be moving it into the same house she was living in. I asked Sally what she had told Marion about us and our living arrangements, and Sally said 'pretty much everything.' Including Nicole and Simone living there, too. I checked.

Sally had already called in contractors and actually had work being done by the end of the week. Marion invited her to come down and stay with her while I was gone so she could be close to the action and they could talk. Again, that nagging feeling that I should be worried something.

Later that week I managed to slip out for one of the lunches Mac and I liked to grab whenever we could. These lunches, which used to be weekly occurrences, had now gone to catch as catch can because of his game and travel schedule during the baseball season. He was getting ready to go south for Spring Training soon, so we would meet whenever we could.

We had a good lunch. I could tell he was dying to ask about everything that was going on, but I held him off. I explained I would tell him everything I could later, but that he would have to be patient. There were some things I needed to work out, and so on. I did give him a little gift from Simone, kind of a 'Thank You' from her for all the time he has spent with her at the hospital. It was a gold chain necklace.

It was funny to watch his reactions to the gift. It was obvious he dearly loved the chain. Not only was it a gift from Simone, it was tasteful and of high quality. Mac, however, had this aversion to what he referred to as the 'Mr. T' syndrome. He didn't wear jewelry, other than our championship ring and, now, his wedding band. He looked up at me.

"How do I explain this to CeCe?" I don't think he knew he'd already decided to wear it.

I just sat there, shaking from laughter. I couldn't answer him. I almost wished we'd gone to a bar for lunch instead of the trendy restaurant we were in. That way I could have let it out. As it was, I nearly hurt myself keeping relatively quiet so the management would let us back in next time we wanted to eat there. I did get several glares from the head waiter and one offer for the Heimlich Maneuver from a neighboring patron.

As we were leaving, Mac pulled a briefcase from the trunk of his car and handed it to me. "Here," he said.

"Why, thanks, Mac. You didn't have to get me a gift," I half joked.

"I didn't," he said puzzled. "I think you left this in my entryway that night you brought Simone. CeCe tripped over it when she came back from her trip and asked me to put it away. I had thought it was hers, when I saw it there, so I hadn't touched it. It's not hers, and not mine. You were the only other people there. So, here." He held it out to me again.

I took it from him, but I was puzzled as to what it was. Not wanting to make a major point of it, I put it in my trunk. We shook hands and went our separate ways. He would be at training camp for three to four weeks before he got a break. I had told him to keep a particular weekend free, if he could. We were planning a small get together at the house. He grinned like a high school kid when he realized he was going to get to see Simone again. He paled when I said the invitation was for CeCe, too. I was still laughing at him as I drove back to the house.

Janey's Spring Break came the following week and she went to Bala's for a visit. She wasn't dreading it, but I could tell she wasn't thrilled, either. I asked her about it.

" I dunno, Dad. I like her and all and I want to go. Her country and culture are so neat. Not neat, like cool, but like, tidy, you know. It's so old, too. Everything and everyone has a place and reason, but at the same time it's an exciting time of change there. I, I really want to learn more about it and, if I can, help them, be a part of it somehow. But, it scares me that I want to be a part of it so much. I hope she's not mad at me for the way I talked to her, and all, too. I was pretty strict."

I reassured her that Bala wasn't angry with her, that she just wanted to spend some time with her. She was probably lonely, all by herself in that house when Amud was at work. I knew she didn't go out without him. Yet. Maybe that was why she had asked Janey to visit. I hoped Janey wouldn't teach her to drive.

Simone asked if it would be OK if she stayed at Aunt Marion's with Sally. Gertie had said she would pick her up there for her first visit and they would spend the day together. Sally agreed and so did I before I realized with a sudden sinking feeling that there was a good chance that Gertie, Sally and Marion would all be together at once. I had expended entirely too much effort keeping all the compartments of my life neatly separated and, in one fucking coincidental fell swoop, the three women who knew more of my life history than I did would be in the same place at the same time. If I had been so inclined, I would have had a panic attack. I kept a firm grip on my emotions, though, and just shit myself instead.

Nicole and I left for Washington after everyone else had gone off on their own ways. I wasn't looking forward to being in Gertie's lab anymore than usual, but getting to spend some time alone with Nicole certainly was a definite plus. She was kind of quiet on the drive down. At one point I looked over and saw her wiping away a tear. I pulled into to the next rest area.

"We don't have to go, you know," I told her.

"Oh, no! I wish to go."

I kept silent. She would tell me when she was ready. That much I had already sensed.

"I am terrified, Lawrence. I have never been so terrified in my life."

"I will be there with you, Nicole. You don't need to be terrified."

"It is that which terrifies me, Lawrence."

Again I stay silent. It seemed to be what she needed.

"I wish so much to please you, to be perfect for you. This is so important to me. I need you to want me. I know it cannot be like with her. You and Sally are so comfortable with each other. I can see you love her, as she does you. It is hard to enter this, this family and not be envious of that love."

I knew there was more. I was right.

"And you haven't touched me. Not once. Not when Sally made me stay naked all the time in front of you, not when I lay at the foot of your bed like a dog. I saw you look at me and become aroused, but you would take Sally. Not me. Am I not good enough for you, Lawrence?"

"Are you fishing for a compliment, Nicole, or are you questioning why I have not had sex with you?"

She blushed, then gathered herself. "I know myself, I know what I am, and I know that I arouse you. It is difficult, though, to be sure of my attractiveness when I put myself at your disposal and not wonder when you refuse to use me. I have asked Sally about that, too. She said you were very particular about the timing, especially the first time. That you would make it special, as special as possible for me, for us. She told me of your trip to the beach. She let me borrow her swimsuit, if I needed it. Forgive me for questioning you, for doubting you."

Oh, God! Was nothing sacred between these conspirators? I was a dead man, but there was still one more thing to come out.

"Put all together, Lawrence, I am terrified about what you expect from me on this trip. Please help me to please you this week. What is it you require of me? Tell me, please. I will be your slave, your mistress, your slut, whatever. Please tell me."

OK, so that one I hadn't expected. I took a moment to look at it from her perspective and realized she had every reason to be petrified. I told her what I wanted from her, not just this week, but always. As we sat there at the rest stop, I told her to be herself. I had seen glimpses of her personality sparkle through at times when she had been relaxed. Simone had not learned her delightfully coquettish behavior on her own. I told Nicole I wanted her to feel free to dance if asked, but only if I had fallen over dead from exhaustion and couldn't dance with her, that is. I was an aging man, remember.

She laughed at my weak joke and we got back on the road, talking and laughing as we neared the Capital. I sensed her lack of confidence in certain things and tried to give her direction whenever I could. She learned quickly to read the subtle signs of my body language and my expressions. She ended the trip her head on my shoulder, resting easily, enjoying the initial closeness between us. Suddenly, Gertie's lab didn't seem so terrible.

When Gertie found out I had selected Nicole to accompany me, she insisted that I bring her with me for the first day of labs. She wanted to meet Simone's mother. Gertie wouldn't be conducting the tests. She just did the analysis of the results, so she had time to spend with Nicole. Mostly the exams they put me through was a strenuous physical and endurance testing, reflex response times, some skill testing, and taking lots of samples of every possible bodily fluid and tissue. I hated those the most. They took tissues and fluids from every major organ system, including a bone scraping. I would rather they would have yanked off a fingernail. I was afraid to mention it, though, as that seemed to be the one thing they were not interested in.

I completed the whole battery of tests late that night and dragged myself back to Gertie's office to pick up Nicole. The peals of laughter, light sounds from Nicole, a heartier tone from Gertie, met me far down the hallway and danced around me as I crawled to the open door. They saw me enter and were suddenly silent, conspirators in some manner. I was not too tired to notice. I was just too tired to mention it or even lift a questioning eyebrow.

As I handed Nicole out the door, I turned to say goodbye to Gertie and thank her for keeping Nicole. To my surprise, she was sitting there watching us leave, tears in her eyes. Then, to totally blow me away, she gave me a two thumbs up sign and shooed me away, like a blustering aunt.

I checked the schedule at the front desk for the time of my next appointment the following day. Another surprise. I was done with the physical tests and didn't have to come back, unless they found something in the analysis. I thought there had been an awful lot more tests and needles than usual. I didn't complain about it too loudly.

The round of cocktail parties and ball started the next evening. Nicole and I had spent the morning doing one of the Smithsonian exhibits and then the National Gallery. It relaxed her to see things of such beauty. It made me happy to see her so happy. She was so attractive and vivacious as she warmed up to the paintings that several other couples tailed along after us, eager to hear her opinions of the masterpieces or a story of the artists. She spoke as if she had known all of the artists personally. Nicole was beautiful, smart and confident. I was the envy of all the men there. Some of the women, too, as I saw a couple of them eyeing her hungrily.

We called it an early day after a leisurely lunch. Nicole had brought several gowns with her, waiting to decide which she was going to wear until the last minute. The bellhop at the luxury hotel I had booked for our stay had been astounded to find we were only going to be there a night or two. From the mound of luggage he had hauled into our suite, he had figured a month at the least. I shut his mouth with a sizable tip before he could insert his other foot as well.

Nicole looked up at me. "How should I dress for this evening, Lawrence?'

I had just seen this woman enthrall total strangers with her intelligence, her exotic accent and her charm. She had a much better sense of these things than I did. Having been burned recently by not playing to the strength of my lover, albeit Sally, I took Nicole's hand, kissed it lightly, and told her I trusted her judgement.

I don't know if it was the kiss on the hand, our first, or the fact that I said I trusted her, but it was as if a fire had been lit inside of her. She glowed, radiated, shone. I heard her singing a light tune in the next room as she went about getting ready.

I prepared myself for the worst. A baggy burlap rag slung over one corner. A horribly fashionable garish lime-green tutu with striped purple and yellow leggings. I was prepared to accept whatever she chose to wear, to tell her she was beautiful and set her on my arm with pride. In other words, I was prepared to lie though my teeth and back it up with a smile.

I was not prepared for the vision that wafted though the bedroom door an hour later. I knew Nicole was a beautiful woman. I hadn't known she had the kind of beauty that could take your breath away. She disguised it well, behind the humdrum of life, but now, released into the open, Holy Shit!

Apparently, my reaction to her was typical of other men's as she patiently waited for me to put my eyes back in their sockets, catch my breath and shut my gaping mouth after I had pulled my panting tongue back in.

"Is this suitable, do you think, Lawrence?" she lilted in a melodious voice. Where had she hidden all this before now?

My mouth working like a fish gasping for air, I nodded dazedly. I was speechless. I think it pleased her, the effect she was having on me. In a daze, we went to the ball.

I felt like a sheep headed to the slaughtering house. I didn't realize how close that was to reality.