LADIES' LODGE:
A STORY OF SEVERAL NUDE LADIES
by Harry
After over two hours of holding the same position in the cold afternoon air Harriet was beginning to regret not taking advantage of Gwendoline's kindness in getting her out of the assignment. It was not a comfortable pose at all, involving as it did keeping one foot raised almost off the ground with only the tip of her big toe on the ground and almost all her weight on the other. One hand was resting lightly on her hip and the other touching her breast, which Jim assured her looked fine despite a few scratches acquired during that insane dangerous climb earlier on. Jim was intent on his painting and seemed oblivious of her discomfort.
I was not only the cold that caused her distress, but the agony of not being able to move a muscle for so long. The prospect of seeing the final result was all that sustained her - she had so admired his portraits of Gwendoline that she really very badly wanted him to paint her as well. And he had only done Gwen from photographs! Think what a painting using a very present and very live Harriet would look like! And one thing he had said before starting work was that he hoped to submit the painting to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition.
The light was beginning to fade, but Jim seemed intent as ever on continuing when Gwendoline came storming out of the house and furiously told him to let Harriet go inside and get warm.
"Can't you see the poor darling is just about fit to drop - you heartless sod!" And she picked up her fainting friend who had virtually lost the power of movement by this time and carried her indoors.
"Thanks for coming to the rescue, Gwen. Mind you, I can't wait to see the final result and I'm glad I did it, but he doesn't know when to stop. Is he like that in bed?"
"No," giggled a blushing Gwen, "I have to keep waking him up, poor old fellow! After all he is thirteen years older than I am and I don't think he leads a very healthy life. He needs to look after himself better and get a lot more violent exercise. And I'll make sure he does; there's a lot of spare fat to lose before I marry him and he'll have to keep it off thereafter."
"Don't worry, Gwen you'll manage him OK. I think he's scared of you, like I still am!"
"Yes - he's a bit of a wimp, but such a darling man. Do you know I had to virtually throw myself at him last night!! But once he'd got the message, everything was so dreamy!"
Gwendoline carried Harriet upstairs, laid her on the bed and got on it after her and began warming the frozen girl up, enfolding her in a tender embrace which might have made Jim rather jealous if he had been present to watch!
"What about all those extra muscles you are going to make me develop, Gwen?"
"You'll get them, but I promise I won't be a bitch to you any more - not ever, even if I do still drive you hard. Just get some sleep, Harry my love - we'll need to be off in a few hours."
After an evening meal which Harriet insisted on cooking and serving as if Gwen were still enforcing her former harsh regime, Jim told them all to pile into his station wagon and he drove them through the dark to a field fifteen miles away in the general direction they were headed. He left them the small tent which Harriet had occupied the night before and made sure they were provided with enough food to last them all into the next day.
"Just leave the tent in the field, ladies. I'll come by and pick it up sometime tomorrow. Good luck, although I daresay we'll meet a few times before the 23rd." After a very tender and lengthy farewell to Gwendoline, he drove away.
Gwen thought with regret of the house - now her future home -that she was not to see for a few weeks. She supervised the erection of the tent - this had been one of her particular fortes in the Guides. It was much warmer with three bodies to heat the enclosed space and a more comfortable and less lonely time was in store for Harriet, although the groundsheet had been left behind and they were forced to sleep on grass.
"I suppose we will be sleeping under the stars again tomorrow night - best make the most of this," Gwendoline said as they settled down for the night. "Unless we meet someone like the three perverts or Mummy and Richard - at least we wouldn't freeze if we were held prisoner again, unless poor old Harry gets stuck in a cage again."
"Remember me saying you lot would never survive the November cold and frost? I never thought back then I'd end up going through all this with you two," murmured Harriet.
"You've suffered more cold than either of us this last few days, you poor dear - what with my making you do all that swimming and hill climbing . You DID volunteer to be my Jim's model, though - can't blame that on me."
"It'll be worth every shiver and every agonising cramp to see myself at the Summer Exhibition," she replied.
With this vision of future celebrity in mind Harriet fell asleep to be followed in seconds by the other two. Gwendoline's last waking thoughts, now that the long initiation rite was nearing its end were of the future beyond this journey. She looked ahead to her statement to the police about the religious child abusers, to telling her parents about her engagement to Jim and taking him to see them. Above all she felt growing excitement invading every part of her mind and body at her ever more fiercely feared but longed-for ordeal at the hands of Mrs Travers - she writhed in ecstasy at the thought of that good lady daily working out thereby to strengthen her arms so that she would be able to bring down the flail all the harder on her bare back - all that Harriet had gone through would be nothing compared to that! She hoped her friends were already asleep and would not notice the smell of female arousal.
Jessica's last thought was that if the experiences of this three were any guide, considering the ease which they all seemed to having in finding themselves husbands, one essential feature of any of their lodge meetings would be a creche.
They would all have been wise to ponder the old adage about fat ladies singing.
* * *
Harriet returned to the shore after swimming across the reservoir and back twice - as opposed to the others' once. Ever since being forced into that combined double swim and hill climb by an incensed and vindictive Gwendoline she had deliberately pushed herself to outdo her friend and leader to Gwen's great admiration and amusement.
Gwen had decided that she might as well continue using Harriet as the workhorse of the group, since it seemed to be what she wanted and in the two days since they had left Jim's Harry was beginning to feel that promised extra muscle coming on - or she liked to kid herself she did.
She had appointed herself as the 'one' in the two against one wrestling which they were finding ever more helpful as a way to keep warm in the raw upland November cold, and it was already taking the other two longer to beat her even after a couple of days. They had crossed a shallow river earlier today and she had carried them across on her back, wading waist deep and saving them from the cold water at the cost of enduring it three times herself.
Harriet thought it strange when she saw her friends were out of sight and as she swam closer to where they should be, she started to feel slightly anxious. Coming out of the water, she looked around for them. They were nowhere to be seen. She shouted but there was no reply. It was as if they had been spirited away into thin air.
(Don't worry, folks - they have not been taken away in a flying saucer - author's note)
There had been no sound of engine noise, so wherever they had gone it must have been on foot and that meant they could not be that far away. If they had been forcibly abducted just as she had started out on her swim, they could only have been gone for ten minutes - you can't get too far in that time. They had to be within sight of where Harriet was standing or in a building within sight. The trouble was that there were no likely looking buildings - only an old and very dilapidated shippon which seemed to be open to the four winds.
She approached it carefully, resisting the impulse to run towards it to warm up. She cursed herself for her silly bravado, which had caused the trio to be split up again. She felt that something was terribly wrong.
For whatever reason, Harriet decided to circle around the building and approach it from the other side. It did not seem possible that she could have been seen by anyone, but she sensed danger.
The other side of the building was up against a stone wall and she climbed over this and crept up to the old cowshed. There were no windows, but quite a few holes in the old structure and she was trying to peer through a gap when she was seized from behind by several hands and dragged around to the other side and through a wooden door, which she noticed had a very new and shining padlock and was very substantial for the door to a disused building.
"Found another of these dirty little naked tarts, chief," said one of Harriet's captors. "Wonder how many more of these we've got wandering around like this - shameless disgusting sluts."
Jessica and Gwendoline were inside against the far wall and tied to a couple of chairs and Harriet soon joined them. The old cowshed was filled with about twenty unsavoury looking men all dressed in some kind of uniform.
"How did you two manage to get caught?" asked Harriet, feeling terribly scared.
"You don't argue with the kind of weapons they had trained on us," said Gwen. I was going to shout at you to get away and get help, but they had other ideas - sorry Harry, but these people are dangerous - you can smell it somehow."
"It's obviously some kind of political extremist group and we've stumbled on their armoury and meeting place. Not only that, but they've obviously got some kind of thing about public decency and the decline in moral values - as you could tell by the charming way that guy described us all. Don't worry - I'll get us out of this. At least these are no Boy Scouts - luckily for me, if not for you!"
Gwendoline shook her head as a sign that conversation should cease and Harriet did not ask what she meant by that last sentence.
The man addressed as Chief came over to Harriet and asked her if there were any more of them. She was slow in replying - not knowing whether to pretend there were friends around who would soon be looking for them and he slapped her across the face.
"Leave her alone you piece of shit," shouted Gwendoline, "dirty, stinking motherfucking coward!"
The man turned his attention to her at that at punched her in the face and then doubled her up in agony with several hard blows to her stomach the sickening sound of which made Harriet wince as she thought how Gwen had deliberately drawn these thugs' attention to herself to save her, Harriet from what she was now suffering.
"Keep your dirty little mouth shut, or you'll get some more."
The majority of the men then started to drift away, leaving the chief and two others behind. Presumably they were all going home or to work after whatever meeting they had just had.
The remaining three left the old building a little later after standing around a defiant and cursing Gwendoline for a few minutes, taking it in turns to hit her many more times. They promised to be back shortly to continue teaching her a lesson in manners and decency.
"Oh, darling Gwen - why do you always have to be so stupidly brave - it's as if you want to get hurt?" said Jessica.
"I refuse to hide my feelings for that kind of lowlife. Anyway, it's time to be going. I don't like it around here - don't know about you two..."
She started to writhe about in her chair and soon had her hands free.
"I told you they hadn't been in the Boy Scouts - at least not the fucking cretin who tied me. Surprised he can dress himself in the morning or wipe his own arse."
The other two had been much more efficiently tied and it took a few minutes for a bloody-faced Gwendoline to release them.
"Go and see if you can find out what they are doing out there Harry - be very careful, sweetheart - don't let them spot you. You and I are going to start another fire, Jessica if we can find the wherewithal. There looks to be some kind of kitchen behind that screen."
There was indeed a sink and a primitive stove and in a cupboard a box of matches. The two girls started to pile up anything that would burn easily in the middle of the building putting the gang's arsenal of weapons on top of the heap.
Harriet signalled and mouthed, "I think they're on the way back."
"You two get ready to light the fire - I'll deal with these three."
"NO - Gwen. I'll help," said Jessica. "There are three of them and look at the state of you after what they did to you. You don't want to be tackling them alone!"
"Do as I fucking well tell you, Jessica - or you'll be in line for a bit of what I gave Harriet and don't think I wouldn't - go on and start making a bit of a blaze."
Gwendoline did wonder a little during the few minutes that followed, why she had been so stupidly proud as to refuse Jessica's offer of help. She knew, though that she was honour bound to exact revenge herself for the injuries they had inflicted on her. She sustained an awful lot more before the three crypto-fascists were all neatly laid out in a row in front of her.
The first one - the Chief - came through the door first and he was quickly nursing two crushed testicles as Gwen adroitly brought her knee up into his groin. The other two were alerted by this time and showed once more their total lack of scruples when it came to hitting women. Jessica stood by ready to come to her friend's aid should they get the upper hand, but they did not have Gwen's speed or skill and finally joined their still writhing chief on the ground. Jessica and Harriet tied them up with the rope that had recently bound them.
"Well done, Gwen - you certainly showed them!" said an admiring Harriet. "But you look a terrible mess you poor dear! You'll need to get that face seen to."
"Never mind that now. Get these three into the field - we don't want them being burned alive - not even scum like them. See if you can fish their car keys from their pocket - they must have a vehicle parked somewhere fairly near - I want us a long way from this little blaze when the fire brigade and police arrive. I think there's plenty of evidence of their wrongdoing around here to put them behind bars for a while!"
Two hours later, Gwen was bathing her battered face and body in the waters of a mountain spring and feeling and looking a lot better. She was bruised and cut about her face but mightily relieved that no bones had been broken. The beautiful Gwendoline had long had a horror of breaking her nose, being always very vain about her appearance. Her stomach was red from the punches it had received and bruising was already apparent on her ribcage - it hurt her to touch herself anywhere and she prayed there had been no internal damage. (One of her first acts when returning home was to be to have a check-up, only to be told by the family physician that she was in better shape than ever and could go on to have a whole army of children if that was what she wanted).
"How are you feeling now, Gwen?" asked an exhausted Harriet who had just carried her on her back for the last five miles over the moors.
"Awful, darling. But I get the feeling I might just live! I do wish my good old Jim was here. Not that he'd have been any use against those guys back there - couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag, that one."
"Could you two teach me to be as good a fighter as you?"
"Of course, Harry - we'll certainly make a beginning. It'll take time and lots and lots of really hard work - we can only give you a start and you'll have to keep it up for months - years, even to be any good like us - Rome wasn't built in a day and all that - you'll take a lot of hard knocks along the way - don't worry, we'll be gentle with you, although it might not seem that way at times! We'll begin your training on the morrow."
"How do you feel about carrying me a few more miles, dear Harry? I don't think I've any internal bleeding - it would surely be starting to show by this time, but we should err on the side of caution and I did promise you some extra muscles after all!"
"Be my guest, Gwen - you saved me from their tender mercies - it's the least I can do."
* * *
"I'd love it, but the answer is, NO! You went through absolute hell on account of saving me from being roughed up. I still can hear that wicked bastard's punches thudding into your poor belly. I know it must still hurt you awfully! And that might have been ME he was doing it to! That more than makes up for all the things you put me through - a million times more! And what you put me through was no more than I deserved and did me a power of good anyway. SO - let's hear no more crap like that - boss."
"You're surprising me more every day, Harry, in all sorts of lovely ways!"
And then Gwen continued, pouring out her joy.
"Oh, Bliss! I love all the things that are happening to us. I truly do! Isn't it so heavenly and utterly fine to be three young, healthy, proudly naked girls exulting in our lovely God-given bodies? Don't you both realize by now that we can take on any challenge the world can throw at us and still be ready for more? Isn't it so intoxicating to have got where we have? The world is ours!"
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd been drinking, Gwen," said Jessica.
"I know just what you mean, my revered Gwendoline," said Harriet.
Harriet was rather out of breath after carrying her beloved and injured leader, Gwendoline for five hours, but managed to gasp out, "I wonder - why we seem - to attract such - trouble. It just doesn't -- seem fair - all we - are, are -three - nude girls - just minding - our - own business."
It was the evening of the day that they had tangled with the Neanderthal paramilitary thugs and another cold night was in prospect.
On that famous occasion Harriet had been on the verge of being beaten up by the leader of this unsavoury group but Gwendoline, conscious of her responsibilties as leader, had taunted the guy with a few well chosen insults and so saved her friend from injury, although only at the cost of receiving a terrible beating herself . Harry had been carrying her on her back all day, both to show her immense love and gratitude and give Gwen a chance to recuperate; she was beginning to get used to the feeling of that weight resting on her and those warm arms clasped around her neck. She almost hoped to be allowed to carry Gwendoline like this for the rest of the journey.
"Put me down now, dearest Harry - thanks a trillion my love," said Gwen in a faint voice. "But I think I can fly solo from now on in. Let's try to sleep by that wall - it should keep this fucking awful wind off us."
Jessica and Harriet both willingly endured a cold and miserable few hours to ensure that Gwendoline had the benefit of whatever little warmth was going that night and were greatly relieved to see her looking so much less ill when morning came. Gwen woke and smiled wearily at her two beloved companions.
"Sorry, girls but I can't go on like this. I've got to have at least one day and one night's rest in a warm bed - one of you try and find a phone box and get hold of Jim for me. I've really had it - awfully sorry and all that. You were right Jessica - I was a fucking idiot to take on all those three when you could have helped me."
"No you weren't, Gwen - it was YOUR job to fight those guys and you did it. I'd have stopped Jessie if she'd tried to help you," said Harriet. "I know what makes you tick by now, having learned the hard way. You're cruelly hard on others but a fucking sight harder on yourself and I love you so much for that. Don't - oh please don't - disappoint me, your greatest admirer. Don't weaken now! You don't need Jim - just get up and pull yourself together! We're going on! And don't fret my dearest Gwen - these shoulders are broad enough to carry you to the ends of the earth!"
"You lovely girl, Harry! I'll walk by myself as long as I can - but I feel as weak as a kitten after yesterday - so be prepared for a heavy load!"
Lady Gwendoline did not need any further assistance from Lady Harriet and she gradually became her old confident and somewhat insufferable self as her strength returned - much to the joy of her two friends who had both been utterly dismayed at her loss of will. Jessica marvelled at how Harriet had been able to shame Gwen into snapping out of her defeatism.
Gwen for her part was pondering her shameful failure and mulling over a proposition to put to Harriet. At last she made up her mind.
"Harry, my sweet! How would you like to be in charge for a few days and then you could punish me for my spinelessness earlier on? You could chase me up hills and make me swim freezing lakes. I don't suppose you'll find any housework for me, but you never know!"
* * *
It was the morning of 9th November when the three girls awoke to find that fog had descended. They could scarcely see to the edge of the field where they had slept. The last few days had been cold, but crisp and dry and they had hardly felt any discomfort now that they had grown so used to surviving in the open for so long. But this clammy, pervasive, damp cold was new and most unwelcome.
"We had to expect this sooner or later, but it's come at just the wrong time. I don't even know what direction we should be going in any more" said a despondent and shivering Jessica.
"Well I do - this field is aligned pretty well north/south. Just as well someone can think ahead around here," said Gwendoline. "I suggest we make a move if we don't want to die of exposure. Your kick-boxing lessons will have to wait a day or two, Harry. Give you time for that black eye to heal a bit!"
They proceeded cautiously for a few hours and the murk showed no sign of lifting, when the shadow of a building loomed up in the fog.
"Can't we shelter here for a bit, Gwen?" pleaded Jessica who was not at all convinced that they were going in the right direction. "We're probably just going round in circles anyway - this is madness, going on in this awful fog."
"OK, just for a couple of hours or so, but we are getting behind schedule - not that that matters if this goes on." Gwen did not elaborate on the last few words.
The building seemed to be another of those disused agricultural structures that had been such useful shelters to them in the past and they were less cautious in approaching than they ought.
It was only when they came nearer to the place that they realised it was a dwelling and an occupied one at that!
"Let's knock on the door, Gwen," said Jessica. "We hardly ate anything yesterday and I can't take much more of this. We can pretend to be lost and asking the way." A likely story!
"I agree," shivered Harriet. "This fog gets into the bones and you need rest Gwendoline. You're beginning to look really ill again. Who cares if we fail in our mission - we've our whole lives ahead of us, don't let's throw them away just for some impossible initiative test that we've already passed by any reasonable standards."
"I might look ill, but I'm perfectly OK. But if you miserable pair can't take it any more, then let's turn ourselves in, by all means." And Gwen knocked loudly on the front door. Footsteps could be heard coming along the hall and the door opened.
"Jim? Good Lord! My darling. What are you doing here, sweetheart - the answer to three maidens' prayers!"
They all pushed their way eagerly into the house without waiting to be asked. Jim had still not got over his surprise at seeing his fiancee again so soon, when they all threw themselves onto the rug by the sitting room fire and began to thaw out.
He explained that the dwelling had belonged to an elderly aunt of his who had recently passed away, leaving all her possessions to him as her only living relative. He had only heard from his lawyer the morning after their departure and had been here for the past couple of days. So if Gwen had tried to contact him in her temporary despair the day before, she would have been out of luck.
"I'm just doing a bit of a stock-take in preparation for either selling the place or moving in. I can't decide just yet. Fancy a bite to eat? There's a pretty well-stocked fridge."
Harriet went to investigate and before long the smell of cooking began to spread throughout the house. After twenty minutes she appeared with a plate of bacon, eggs, mushrooms and sausages for Gwendoline.
"Here you are Gwen. Get this inside you - coffee follows in a jiffy. Get seated round the table the rest of you - I'll be serving you in a couple of minutes."
Soon Harriet produced equally full plates for the others.
"Are you sure you won't join us, darling Harry? Don't you think your act as a servant has gone on long enough?" said Gwen as she turned to look at Harriet standing by the table, ready to refill cups and plates as desired.
Harriet ignored this and looked at Jim. "Any nice hard work to do in this lovely house, Jim? I'm trying to build up my body to match these two superwomen here. No task is too heavy for me - I want to be worked until I drop!"
Before Jim could answer, Gwen interrupted, "SIT DOWN and join us you darling silly girl. Stop making me feel guilty! Seriously though Jim - she would love to help out with a bit of heavy work. She's in serious training now and it would be good for her. That's better dear - come and sit next to me."
Gwen put her arm around Harriet's neck, pulled her face close to hers and kissed her tenderly and passionately on the lips, inserting her tongue deep into her mouth, not drawing away for several long minutes. Jim looked on in amazed embarrassment - as did Jessica who had her own reasons to feel jealous.
"I've been so rotten to this sweet girl - I'm going to spend the rest of my life being especially nice to her to make up for it. If anyone objects to that - it's just too bad! Don't worry Jim - I've plenty of love left over for you, as you are going to find out very shortly, just as soon as we've finished eating!"
After breakfast Gwen raced up the stairs followed more slowly by Jim. She frowned angrily at his obvious lack of fitness.
"You're still young Jim and yet you move around like a clapped out old man! And look at that disgusting gut! I'm going to take you in hand and we'd better start today. I'm a lovely, healthy young girl, even if I am a bit battered at the moment, and I take it very personally when my lover keeps falling asleep when he ought to be shagging my arse off! Now let's get on with it and don't worry about my bruises. I like a bit of pain, especially when it's on account of being well and truly fucked by you!"
Jim was utterly shocked and not a little disgusted by Gwen's brutal crudity and hurt by her mercilessly accurate description of his physical condition, but he soon forgot all that in the heavenly joy of making love to this exquisite being who, only a few days before he had imagined to be quite unattainable.
Jim had fallen asleep after making love. Gwen looked adoringly at him for a few seconds and then decided it was time to begin his physical rebuilding. She punched him in the stomach as hard as she could and he awoke, sitting bolt upright and clutching his abdomen with a look of pain and surprise.
"Out of that bed you idle bastard. Today you begin to sweat as you've not sweated for far too long. Look at me, Jim! Look at my body, there's not an ounce of surplus fat anywhere and there never will be - look!"
And she swivelled around slowly, letting him see her sheer physical perfection. He looked again at her firm breasts, thighs and buttocks and her flat firm and muscular stomach and strong arms and shoulders and felt shame at his own run down condition. He had really let himself go to seed in the last year, since Gwen had been so enthralled by this handsome and talented artist and he had fallen so utterly and hopelessly in love with her.
"If you really truly desire the privilege of being allowed to screw this lovely young girl you see standing before you every day whenever you feel like it, all you have to do is lose that gross fat belly, stop slouching around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and generally get yourself fit. We can start now - and DON'T put those clothes on - you don't need clothes to exercise. What do you have outside in the garden?"
"A tennis court - minus the nets and a swimming pool - empty."
"Right - we can use the tennis court to start with. I think we'll get you running a few dozen circuits to loosen you up a bit. And start filling the pool, darling - we all want a swim and you are going to join us. Now let's get outside and start demolishing all that disgusting fat and building up lots of lovely strong muscles!"
The fog was starting to clear a bit by this time and Gwendoline could make out more of the details of the house and its surroundings. They would have avoided it had they been able to see as much as was now visible. Jim gasped as the cold air hit his naked body and wondered why Gwen showed no reaction, until he realised that she and her two companions had grown used to this kind of temperature long before this. They reached the tennis court and Gwen gave him a preparatory talk before making him start his hours of exercise.
"You know how I got these bruises, Jim?"
"No - I thought it was a fall or something."
"Well, some of my injuries were when I was tied up and beaten by three men and the the rest which are worse were caused by them after I had got free and fought and beat them all senseless. When we had just started out on this adventure I and Jessica were attacked by five thugs who were going to rape us. I demolished three of them and Jessica did for the other two. We got mixed up in an illegal bare knuckle prize fight and between the two of us we defeated seven male pugilists one after the other. You see what I'm getting at? I could destroy you any time I wanted to and I don't like that! I don't want to marry a weakling and a wimp. Please give me something to look up to apart from your talent as a painter. Please my sweet! Start running round the court and I'll see about filling that pool - don't stop until I get back."
She found how to turn on the water supply to the swimming pool and left it to fill up and then went back inside the house, looking round to see that Jim was continuing to obey his imperious young fiancee's instructions. She grinned broadly to think how his feet would be a mass of blisters when he had finished and rejoined her friends who, as she expected were fast asleep in front of the fire. She joined them and dozed off herself, waking up with a guilty start - poor old Jim!
"Wake up you too. Jim wants to work out with us in the garden - he's suddenly got bitten by this fitness bug. We ought to humour him! Shame for him not to have a bit of company - let's go."
When the three girls got outside, Jim was on his hundredth lap around the tennis court and sweating despite the cold foggy November air.
Gwen signalled to him to come and join them and he was happy to comply, being in the terminal stages of exhaustion by this time.
"Mind if we all take part, my darling? Why should you get all the pleasure? Jessica will race you round the court a few times and after that you'll think of lots of other energetic vigorous things to do together and I'm going to give darling Harry her kick-boxing lessons for the day. Isn't this such great fun - all improving our bodies and naked together as Nature intended!"
"Thanks for telling the others this was all my idea," gasped an utterly exhausted Jim later that day as he dried himself off. He had just swum in the killingly icy water of the refilled pool with his three hardy and untiring guests.
"I don't want to humiliate you Jim, even if it is for your own good as well as my selfish desire to be seen on the beach with a hunk rather than a weed. And I would NEVER show you up in front of anyone else. To change the subject, I've got a favour to ask of you - in fact lots of favours."
"All you have to do is ask - my lovely, bossy future wife and it's as good as done!"
"I want you to keep track of us for the rest of our journey and make sure we get fed every day. The guy who arranged this initiation left food supplies hidden for us along our route, but they've all been rifled or ruined in some way or other for days now. We need a new supplier or we'll never survive in this weather - not if we're half starved. So I think you should be waiting for us every night when we make camp! And one more favour - don't get dressed until we leave tomorrow evening. There's no need to be shy with us - we're three very nice girls! And why should you get to look at us and not we at you?"
"So you think an obese old man is worth looking at, do you?"
"You're not that bad-looking sweetheart, in fact you're still a pretty handsome guy - just not quite up to my highly exacting standards - but you will be, darling, you will be!"