Absolutely Legal
by Chessman

Based on characters created by Bare Lin and posted on WoL. Continuing the adventures of Kimberly Tanner, her husband Jerry Tanner, their college age twin daughters Tammy and Marla, and the work associates at Mary Jerkins Real Estate


Kimberly Tanner, age 42, Realtor
Jerry Tanner, age 43, CPA
Marla and Tammy Tanner, age 22, college students
Brad Benton, 23, college student/Marla’s boyfriend
Kirsten Lovett, 22, college friend/Tammy’s life partner
Mary Jerkins, age 48, Kirsten’s employer
Shirley Stevens, age 28, Kirsten’s co-worker
Jan Riley, age 26, Mary Jerkins administrative assistant
Andrew Adams, age 44, Kimberly’s co-worker
Bill and Lynn Parham, plaintiffs against Mary Jerkins
Gloria Parham, 19, Bill and Lynn’s daughter
Sheila Dunphy, Absolute attorney and Susan’s life partner
Susan White, Absolute attorney and Sheila’s life partner

Bill and Lynn Parham had followed through on their threat and filed suit against Absolute Arms and Marla Tanner for “discriminatory practices”. Mary Jerkins had sought to use the the real estate firm's corporate lawyers for the legal matters leading up to and including the court case, but it turned out that Lynn Parham was the sister-in-law of one of the partners of the law firm, and the firm had recused itself from the case based upon possible conflict of interest. Mary had run through the legal directory of the county looking for representation; she discovered many law firms had represented the Parham corporations or the family itself and were ethically prohibited from participating in the case going forward.

Mary and Marla Tanner were walking the grounds of Absolute Arms condo complex discussing the matter, when Marla’s attention was drawn to the pool. Sheila Dunphy and Susan White were lazing on two foam pool floats enjoying the afternoon sun. To them, it was still workday at the office. The pair of lovers had converted the walk in closets in their apartment to a law library and they were practicing law from their home until such time as they might afford an office downtown. Being absolutes and having little need for closet space the women found the situation both space and money saving. Their practice had been limited to wills, pre-nuptial contracts and civil rights matters involving gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender and absolute rights.

“Susan, Sheila, a moment of your time, please?” Marla called. The pair acknowledged her and paddled the rafts to the pool’s side, exiting via the deep end ladder. Introductions were made and Mary and Marla briefly reviewed the pending mater with the two female lawyers. “Can you recommend anyone who might take on this case?” Mary asked the pair.

“If you ask, of course we will, we may live here, but we are not obligated to you or your firm professionally or personally, and facing the Parham family lawyers would be good for our practice. It seems to be a frivolous lawsuit. Let us review the case and then we’ll meet and decide how to proceed.” Sheila assured Mary Jerkins.

While Mary Jerkins was taking care of her legal business, Kirsten Lovett and Tammy Tanner were celebrating Toby Lovett’s eighteenth birthday with the birthday boy. A lunch at Toby’s favorite restaurant, a pirate themed place called Captain Buff’s, had ended with all the serving wenches, naked save for aprons, bringing cake to the table and singing Happy Birthday

“We have a present for you as well,” his sister told her younger brother.

“You two are just getting started yourselves, the cheer school, the apartment and everything. You didn’t have to buy me a present,” Toby smiled, “I hope you didn’t spend a great deal on it.”

Tammy giggled, “Oh we didn’t. You are looking at your present, Toby. Kirsten and I are giving you, well, me, for as long as it takes to make me pregnant.”

“Look, little brother, this may sound weird to you; however, we have decided that we want a child that is from both of our blood lines. You have never made any secret to the fact you are hot for Tammy. Rather than the clinical approach of you spilling your seed into a jar and some medical technician using a turkey baster to put it into Tammy, we are asking you the favor and giving you the gift of impregnating my mate for us.” Kirsten watched the shock on her brother’s face turn to amazement and then back to shock.

“It’s a lot less weird than my father sleeping with your sister, which is the only other way we could accomplish having a child that would come from both sides of the family.” Tammy added.

Toby had to ask for another cup of coffee and remain seated to wait for the excitement evident in his crotch to subside. “I don’t know what to say, I mean this may not happen the first try and I go back to school soon, so when am I supposed to do this?”

“Tammy will be fertile two days from now. You can try then. When you come home for winter break, you can try again, if this attempt doesn’t take. Spring break and summer vacation next year are possibilities if your swimmers don’t latch onto a life raft before them. No matter how long it takes you will be the baby's daddy and Uncle Toby will be his or her godfather.” Kirsten told her brother, and she then kissed him on the cheek. Tammy added a full kiss on the lips, which intentionally held the promise of bigger and better things to come. Toby once again was reluctant to rise and leave Captain Buff’s due to his stimulated state.

* * *

On the northern sector of the core city business district, Gloria Parham, age nineteen, daughter of Bill and Lynn Parham, sat in a very different coffee shop than Captain Buff’s. Here the wait staff dressed in copies of mid Twentieth Century diner clothing. Sensible shoes, white hose [not panty hose but the old white seamed garter belt held up stockings] shirtwaist dresses on the females that came mid calf and had a high ruffled collar. The men were in starched white shirts with bow ties, black pleated pants, and vests that matched the waitress' dresses in color and material.

Gloria was dressed in a knee length pencil skirt, matching business jacket with peplum, silk blouse, ruffled high neck buttoned at the throat, and her under things were white silk lace consisting of chemise, brassier, and panties that were a full high cut trunk that did not require her to trim her pubic hair at all. The silk stockings she wore were smoke colored and held by real garters at mid thigh. A pair of gray silk two-inch heel pumps, gray gloves and a gray pillbox hat with demi veil completed her attire.

Gloria had never shaved her legs, armpits or pubes, as her parents considered such grooming to be part of the deviant culture that had resulted in the Absolute movement. Nor had she cut her hair in a stylish manner rather allowing it to grow so that now it would hang, reddish gold and lush, well below her backside. She had it trimmed to even it and rid it of split ends twice a year.

Rather than attend the Central University West Hamlin campus with its steep discounts for local residents; Gloria had been sent, at age seventeen, to Saint Martin of The Lakes College for Women. As one of the few single-sex colleges left in the nation, and one that still adhered to its strict religious foundations, there was no Absolutism or NIP on the campus. Gloria had been accepted early, skipping her senior year at West Hamlin High, as she was eligible for the NIP mandatory participation then and her parents wanted nothing to do with that.

The Sisters of Mercy who proctored the living of the women on campus made sure that even same sex nudity did not occur on campus. Cubicles around each gym locker, long robes, cubicles in the showers, swim dresses with mid thigh skirts for aquatics, and every dorm room a single room maximized the enforced shame that being caught in public with a single bit of exposed skin would cause.

The student body was not allowed off campus without being part of a group of three witha chaperone. A parent was required to drop the student off for semester beginning and retrieve that student at semester end. No girl was allowed a car, bicycle, or any other form of transportation that would allow her to range outside of the campus. Twelve-foot walls of native stone and cement encircled the campus. Three gates locked and guarded by a nun each night allowed access to the campus. Five hundred young women housed in four dorm buildings rested at ease each night knowing their virtue was protected.

The most embarrassing part of campus life was the ritualistic physical at the start of each semester. Then and only then were the students naked, and a nurse and two nursing nuns did a full examination for everything from warts and boils to a visual and physical inspection of intact virginity. Young women of good breeding were expected to protect the maidenhead as if it were a national treasure. Several had been placed on probation during Gloria’s two years at Saint Martin’s when the hymen they had the semester before was now missing. Each time, when a sports activity such as horse back riding, surfing or bicycling was found to be the cause (proper documentation from a physician or parent was required) that activity went on the prohibited list for students. Expulsion resulted when verification could not be provided or when a girl admitted to surrendering to the passions of a boy’s arms, lips, and member.

Gloria prided herself on doing nothing to blemish her virginity. She also prided herself for not doing anything to besmirch the Parham name. Her course of studies would lead her to a Business degree and she would, of course, enter employment with and be groomed to take over one of her parents' various businesses. A marriage to a suitable young man of a family in similar status as the Parham clan would be arranged. She would allow sex for procreation only and then for only as often as it took to produce a male heir.

Such was the plan for her life as laid before her by parents and the nuns responsible for her education.

Harlequin Cheerleading & Gymnastics was across the street from the diner. Gloria watched the naked girls and boys troop in for whatever they did inside and was thoroughly repulsed by the sight. Only the basest of people could allow their children to parade about nude all day every day, and the parents who escorted the smaller children were every bit as disgustingly naked as their spawn. One woman, pushing a stroller with a toddler seated therein, dropped off her daughter who appeared to be eight or nine years old, and when she came into Gloria’s full view looked to be seven months pregnant with another child.

Gloria could not imagine any woman waddling about pregnant and naked for anyone to see. First, it was an admission the woman was having sex with a man. Second, that disgustingly bloated belly was on view. Gloria planned to take to her bed as soon as she began to show. Oh, wait, the mother was sitting down on the bench by the bus stop and her toddler was suckling upon her right breast. Shivering with disgust Gloria turned away from the sight, paid her bill, tipped her server and left by the door nearest the lot where her Prius was parked.

* * *

Harlequin Cheerleading & Gymnastics was located in a building that had once housed a discount clothier. Tammy and Kirsten had moved their school off campus from CUWH after graduation and the second trip to Nationals, where both cheer squads had placed number one in the nation. Tammy and Kirsten were still hands-on coaches and had a staff of fifteen working with them. Five part-time high school cheerleaders worked with the three to five year olds and six to nine year old classes of gymnasts to develop the tumbling and dance aspects the children would need to move on to competitive cheer team activities.

Three college age cheerleaders, two women and one man, coached the middle school activities. Tammy and Kirsten circulated and made suggestions to the staffs on the younger levels, and concentrated on the high school age squad.

Many of the girls and boys who trained and practiced at Harlequin went on to do gymnastics or cheer at the school they attended. For this reason, Harlequin team practices were restricted to the coaches and team members. Otherwise everyone would know the show routines the team would use in competition before the meet season began. Tammy and Kirsten remained the head coaches of the high school level team.

To Tammy and Kirsten the most troubling competition was the team called the Tylerville Titans. The Titans had come in a very close second to the West Hamlin Harlequins in the last National Championship. What had almost won the competition in the ‘unclothed’ division for the Titans were their body art. All had tattoos of mythical creatures, such as the angel wings on the backs of some girls and the knee to hip phoenix birds on the team captains, one male the other female, and each of the high school aged cheer team had a Norse god tattooed on the left shoulder.

These had impressed the judges with the aspects of team spirit and team solidarity, much more than the spray painted Harlequin body art. It had almost won the day for the Titans. The final trick of the base catchers while the fliers were in the air had garnished the Harlequin team enough style and technique points to carry the competition, but the margin separating the two teams had been in the hundredths of percentiles of points.

Tammy and Kirsten worried about the Titans, but the most serious threat to the cheer academy would not come from the Titans this year but from the Absolute-hating Parham family.

The cute CN who appeared at the door of the Harlequin cheer and gymnastics school carried a soft khaki messenger bag over her shoulder. She asked to speak with either Tammy Lovett-Tanner or Kirsten Tanner-Lovett and both women came to the door. “Uh, we are the Tanner-Lovett’s, how may we help you?” Kirsten commented.

Te girl reached into her bag, pulled out a legal sized envelope,, and said the words, “Kirsten and Tammy Tanner-Lovett, you have been served.” With that the girl was gone, hopping on a scooter and zooming off.

The cheer coaches brought the envelope to their office and opened it. It was an immediate cease and desist order for operation of a facility, not a public school, which allowed nude children to participate in physical activity. It cited health codes, and also several ordinances locally and statutes from state civil and criminal law to establish the reason for the order as written by a state circuit court judge known to be against the Absolute laws and eager to get a test case before his court.

Tammy and Kirsten went slack jawed while reading the legal paperwork. They quietly told the instructors to wrap up today’s sessions and once the children from the various classes had left the building informed the staff the facility would be closing for several days until the matters at issue could be brought before a judge. Every instructor on staff, many who had begun with the girls when Harlequin was a college project and they were part of the cheer squad, agreed to offer testimony in court on behalf of the Harlequin organization.

Tammy and Kirsten went home with the paperwork to try to to figure out why their program had become a target.

“Hey, sis and sis-in-law, why so hang doggy in the faces, you two are the peppy cheerleaders of the family, remember?” Marla greeted the couple as they passed through the lobby of Absolute Arms on their way to the condo Mary Jerkins had leased them as a wedding gift. The girls were remodeling the second floor of the Harlequin building for a permanent apartment living space. The work would take several months and the building inspectors were slow to respond to the contractor’s requests for plumbing, electrical and structural inspections, so the newly joined couple was staying temporarily in the complex Tammy’s sister managed.

“We got shut down over some legal mumbo jumbo, Marla,” Kirsten responded to her sister-in-law, “Apparently they question is whether we can legally instruct Absolute minors.”

It took Marla five minutes to get Sheila and Susan on their cell phone and another ten to be in the lawyers’ apartment for a sit down.

“Look here, Sheila,” Susan pointed to a signature block and a seal on one of the documents the Harlequin owners had been served.

Sheila responded with, “Same flaming law firm as the Parham suit against Absolute Arms,” the partner quickly noted, agreeing with her mate.

Telling Tammy and Kirsten they would take the Harlequin case pro bono as much of the research to be done and discovery to be gathered would be the same as Parham v. Absolute Arms/Mary Jerkins Realty, and Mary Jerkins was very generous with her retainer, the law firm of Dunphy and White became the new lawyers for Harlequin.

Dunphy and White proved to be a very efficient law firm on behalf of their client. After two calls to Central University West Hamlin, the first to Professor Ramona Renaldo and the second to the Athletic Director, and the Tanner-Lovett’s were appointed Adjunct Instructors of Athletics at CUWH with full facility privileges. Their classes were moved to the athletic center to be ‘show case classes’ for physiology and gymnastics majors. As the CU system was a public college and NIP was the norm on campus, and as the trainees at all age levels were now technically participants in a college classroom experience, the lawyers had evaded the questionable legal points brought in the suit. For this semester at least, the cheerleaders in training and their instructors had continuity.

The next step for the two Absolute lawyers was to petition for a discovery meeting with the other law firm in the civil cases. Through this meeting, which found Susan and Sheila the only nudes in a boardroom full of expensive business suits, several boxes of documents were turned over. It appeared ‘bury them in bull’ was the operative working formula for the Parham lawyers. Sheila and Susan were going to try the ‘dazzle them with brilliance’ approach.

Sifting through fifty pounds of paper, Dunphy and White came across a trail of intersected interests that should explain the why of the Parham suits and also possibly sway the jury in the case as to underlying motivation. In a petition to the court and without objection from the leering Parham attorneys, Dunphy and White had the Absolute Arms and harlequin cases combined and the court date set for six weeks in the future.

* * *

Jury selection took three days. When both sides ran out of preemptive challenges, the jury seated was balanced, with six textiles and six Absolutes. As this civil trial only needed a majority of jurors to agree on a verdict, at least one juror from either camp would have to vote with the other side to carry the matter.

The three Parham’s sat at their table with their lawyers gloating as each point was made by their legal team and expert witnesses and Dunphy and White simply told the judge, “No questions at this time your honor, but we reserve the right to recall the witness.”

Susan and Sheila then began presenting their case. The County Health Department inspector testified that Harlequin Cheer had passed every inspection with triple star satisfactory ratings, the highest rating issued by his department. The state social services department and the state licensing board for business and consumer affairs sent representatives who testified that Harlequin Cheer and Absolute Arms both were fully compliant with the laws and regulations covering the doing of business on their properties.

A West Hamlin Juvenile Bureau detective from WHPD testified that she had brought her niece to Harlequin to try out for a squad, while off duty and nude, “I am a CN due to my job, your honor,” and found no inappropriate touching, no sensual or sexual activity and nothing done willfully or purposefully to put the children being trained in danger, “And I stay with my niece through every session, your Honor, so my observations are long term.”

Dunphy and White then called Bill Parham, who testified under oath that he was a businessman by profession.

Susan began reading a list of companies. "Lorna of California, a Parham company manufacturing swimsuits and lingerie."

Bill Parham admitted he owned that company.

"Ross Lee men’s wear, for the business professional."

Again Bill Parham admitted he owned the company. The same went for a women’s wear company, an outer wear firm and a uniform services leasing company and three shoe manufacturers.

When Susan then asked Parham, “Isn’t it true then, sir, that you have a vested interest in keeping people clothed?” The judge had to wait a full three minutes for the laughter to subside and restore order from the bench.

Sheila did the summation, “Members of the jury, the case you are asked to render a verdict on, this day, have little to do with the laws cited and many of the alleged violations have been disproved by testimony and documentation. What this case does have at its core is simple. Can one influential and powerful family dictate to the societal trends that have been accepted by and even legislated by the general public? Your verdict in favor of Mary Jerkins, Absolute Arms, and Harlequin Cheer today will clearly spell out that our new way of living is no different in principle and has the same affirmative rights as a gay man, a lesbian woman, or a conservatively clothed heterosexual. We all should and must have the ability to live our lives as we see our normal to be and raise our families with certain freedoms to explore all possibilities. I ask you to find in favor of the defendants this day and impose the recommended penalties.”

It took the jurors four hours to tell the judge they had reached a verdict. The foreman of the jury, after handing the verdict to the judge who read the verdict into the record, “We the jury, unanimously find the suit brought against Mary Jerkins, Absolute Arms and Harlequin Cheer to be without merit. We recommend damages be awarded to the defendants in the amount of court costs, lost wages for the Harlequin staff, and all legal fees due Dunphy and White.

“Further, we recommend punitive action against the Parham family for defamation of the character of Absolute Arms and Harlequin Cheer in the form of one hundred eighty days of enforced nudity, to begin immediately.”

The judge immediately said, “So ordered. The plaintiffs shall rise and appear before this bench and remove their clothing, each will be issues a neck chain which locks in place and has a medallion stamped with the letter ‘P’. For the next one hundred eighty days this shall be your only legal attire. Additionally each of you is sentenced to one hundred hours of community service, to be determined by the county probation department. These hours shall be completed in public within the one hundred eighty days of your sentences or the sentence shall be extended day for hour.”

The lead attorny for the Parham's immediately objected. "This is a civil case, Your Honor. You can't impose criminal sactions on the Parhams without a trial. The haven't been charged, much less convicted, of any crime. And Gloria is not a named plaintiff in this suit, only her father and mother are."

The judge snarled, "Sit down and shut up, or I'll hold you in contempt. This is my court, and I can do as I want. If you don't like it you can appeal. The appellant court might hear the case, but it will take longer than 180 days for them to decide it. In the mean time, my order stands and the Parhams will disrobe immediately."

Bill Parham stripped with a glare on his face, defiant to the end. The bailiff attached his neck chain in place and Bill waited for his wife and daughter, who were crying and pleading to the court for mercy to be done with their disrobing. Lynn, stripped down to her full slip, was begging the judge to forgive her. She was told if she did not willingly comply her sentence would be doubled and a female bailiff would cut the clothing from her body. Sobbing she removed every stitch and stood facing the judge as the neck chain with the pendant was place around her throat.

Gloria Parham stood respectfully before the judge’s bench; she had peeled off the jacket, blouse and skirt stockings and garters and was now in bra and panties. “Your honor, I’m a college student at Saint Martin in the Fields College for women. I cannot go back to school unclothed and if I don’t return I will lose my academic credit for the year.”

She removed the bra while waiting for the judge’s reply and was sliding herself out of her panties when he spoke, “A court order demanding your reinstatement as a student while serving your probationary sentence has been issued. You shall be required to do your community service on campus under the supervision of the Mother superior of the order of nuns assigned there.” The stern reply given by the judge from the bench echoed through the room.

Gloria waited while the bailiff attached the neck chain and medallion and to the flash of photographers for newspapers, magazines and other media accompanied her parents out of the courthouse and into the glaring daylight of existence as an enforced nudist. While as emotional as her mother on the inside, she refused to let her fear and shame show through and put on the same impassive façade as her father.

Part 5 of 5. The End