Mr. Hansen: I had hoped to be monitoring this exercise, but I am told I am needed at a meeting of all the staff. I see no reason why the two of you can't go ahead. I should be back within 30 minutes to see how you are doing.

Both: OK.

Jones:  I will now conduct a search of your person to make sure you are not trying to bring weapons or contraband into the prison population.

Horne: And cop a feel while you're at it, huh, sleazeball? Forget it! Hey, what the...

J: Are the cuffs too tight? They seemed to close rather hard on your wrists.

H: Shit! They hurt like hell! OK, let's get this chickenshit gropefest over with!

J: You will address me as "sir." Will you cooperate if I release the cuffs?

H: Yes!  (22 second gap).....sir!

J: OK, I'm taking them off. Please sit in the chair indicated. Lean a bit forward so I can run my fingers through your hair, also then I can look down your blouse. Fine! Now I'm going to check inside your ears...and your nostrils...now please open your mouth. Please assist me in looking inside. Use your hands to pull your lips away from your gums. Now open real wide so I can check your throat for strings.

H: (gagging sounds)

J: Here's a tissue to wipe your eyes. Now I'm going to check your arms and hands; arms are OK, please spread your fingers so I can check between them, good. Please remove your shoes and socks, no, stay seated in the chair and bend forward, I like the view.

H: You goddamn fucker! No, wait, I'll cooperate! Not those damn cuffs! Shit!

J:  I'll be right back. (1 minute 13 second pause) OK, I brought what I need. You just called me, what? A goddamn fucker? Now I've got a nice wet washcloth here and a bar of soap, let me get it lathered on real good, now you're going to get your filthy mouth washed out.

H: NO way!

J: Well, your hands are cuffed to the chair so there are a couple of ways I can get you to open your naughty mouth. I could just jerk up on your nose and down on your jaw. But I think I'll just pinch your nose shut like this. The moment you open your mouth to breathe, in goes the washcloth, but at the same time I'll release your nose. Whenever you're ready!

H: (Coughing, strangling, crying sounds.)

J: There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Your whole mouth and tongue are now soapy clean of all those bad words. Do you have any more bad words to say to me?

H: No, sir.

J: Good, now I believe you were about to bend forward and remove your shoes and socks, but as your hands are still restrained, I guess I'll do it. Here we go. Oh, your soles are a bit ticklish, eh? Let me just check between your toes... all clear here. Do your wrists hurt?

H: Just like fire. Please, please, I'll do anything, whatever you ask, if you take them off, sir.

J: Well, I need your hands free to assist me, so here goes.  You can rub your wrists to restore circulation. Now I need to check your legs, so please stand up. Now reach down and pick your skirt up by the hem. Raise it up. Higher. Higher. Pay attention! I said I need to check your legs. How high do a person's legs go?

H: Up to where they reach the body, sir.

J: Then raise the skirt above your waist so I can see your entire legs! Do it NOW! You ARE wearing panties, aren't you? Didn't you just say you'd cooperate? THANK YOU! Now I'm just going to run my hands up your legs slowly, checking all around them. Spread your legs nice and wide. I'm up to your knees now, yes, now the upper legs, the thighs, checking behind now, good, all done. Nice color panties, I've always liked blue. Do you want to use one hand to push those few stray hairs inside?

H: Don't get me wrong, sir. I... I want to cooperate. But the instruction sheet did say no skin to skin touching. So let's follow that, OK?

J: That's right, and as soon as you push those sweet little hairs back inside your pretty blue panties you can let your skirt fall back. Good! Now I need you to unbutton your blouse for me. Don't give me that look! I need to check your bare skin to make sure nothing is taped to it. Fine. Now I'm going around to your back. Please lift up your blouse above your head. Well, you might as well take it off. Thank you. Now I'm looking at your bare back, looks OK, now I'm just going to run my fingers under your bra straps, Ok, everything under control. Now you made a good point, there. I can't have skin to skin contact with your breasts. Unless you want me to. I guess that head shake means "no." Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to reach around you and feel your tits right through the bra, like this! Ahhh, this is fun! Do you let boys do this to you on dates? What's this? A hard little lump inside each bra? Are those hard little things weapons? Are you smuggling bullets? They're hard as steel. Is it plutonium? Are you hiding plutonium in your bra?

H: Very funny. You know that's my nipples, sir.

J: Oh, I suppose. It's just that I never felt such rock-hard nipples before. Well, I think it's time for a little visual inspection. So I'm just going to unclip your bra here... yes I am, no, get your hands away, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were helping. Your bare back looks good, now if you'll just turn around... I'm impressed! Those two items are very fine! Can you raise your arms above your head? Oooh, that raises them up nicely, you can see the tension. Let me just check your armpits, are you ticklish there, too? Apparently you are. Now, you were right, I'm not allowed to touch them there two things. But you could be hiding something under them...

H: Hey, they ain't that droopy!

J: So I need you to pick them up by the nipples and pull them straight up so I can see underneath.

H: Are we about done here? Yeah, here you are, get a good eyeful. If Hansen comes in while I'm doing this he'll be on you like a tick on a hound.

J: I'm not anywhere near done! Surely you know the commonest place a female inmate hides contraband is below the waist.

H: Now see here, I've gone along with this stuff, maybe I even kind of liked it, but not even my boyfriend has ever touched me there! And you can't be touching me there anyway according to the rules!

J: Sir.

H: ...according to the rules, sir.

J:  Well, now, it's true I can't be touching bare skin. But you've still got panties on. So now just take your skirt right off. Thank you. Now I'm just going behind you a bit, I've already seen your panties in front, now I'll just look at the rear. Can you take a few steps forward? Yes, I like to see a girl's butt when she walks, especially when all she's wearing are tight-fitting blue panties. Now I'm just going to put my hands on your ass and give it a nice good rubbing, up and down, my hands sliding along the smooth fabric, over and over, good. Now I want you to reach back and pull those cheeks apart for me while I run a couple fingers up and down your crack, like this, and as long as you keep your panties on I'm still following the instructions. And now for the final check. I'm just going to snake my hands around the front of your panties and start a little rubbing, feeling for contraband, whoa! You got a fountain in your panties?

H: Oh God, oh,oh,oh... aah.

J: Because you are so, so wet! Now, it's kind of hard for me to know just what I'm rubbing because I can't see... oh, wait, I'll just pull your waistband forward in front so I can look down and get my bearings... yes, now I know just where to rub. I'm nicely centered directly on your slit and I'm running my fingers up and down. And I feel a little bump towards the top. Is that a weapon?

H: Sir, it is my clitoris.

J: You know, the instructions don't really say anything about you not having skin to skin contact with me, just the other way around. I'm pretty uncomfortable here. Why don't you just pull my pants down? And now the shorts. I've got the rest. Now I'd like to do with your pussy what I did with your top. I know I can't touch, but I sure can look. So why don't you just slide those pretty blue panties right off. Yes, good. I've never seen a girl open herself up and start rubbing herself, why don't you do that for me. Yes. Do all girls do it like that? I would have thought girls were a bit more dainty, but you are really whaling away! Are you going to make yourself cum for me?

H: I want it bad, so bad. Stick it in me hard, make me cum, fuck me, fuck me hard!

(Here the conversation ends. There is a rhythmic thumping which increases in volume and tempo which ends with an inarticulate male cry. A woman's voice moans loudly.)

Mr. Hansen: I'm back. What the hell!!!